Quote: This is not about SEX, this is about sexual fulfilment which is WAY beyond just sex. We tend to put too much focus on just the orgasam. In good sex, sex is about EVERYTHING. Most importantly, sex is communication between two people. It is an incredible mind game. What I am trying to say is that most of the important aspects of sex can NOT be experienced when going solo. It is the WHY you have sex that is truly important, not the HOW you have sex. In true passionate sex, it is a deeply emotional experience, it is crucial to well being, and it can not be acheived in any other way. In effect, there is no substitute for it.
I really want to put this in the body of one of my blog posts, and am trying to find ShortChanged to ask permission. It was posted on this thread so I'm hunting SC down here, and hoping to get permission. Sorry to hijack, there are just some really great points from posters here that speak to me, and I want to boil them all down into one blog post. Thanx! SC, if you find this post, please email me at instepford (at) gmail.com
What you quoted was actually written by CeMar, not me, so you'll have to ask him.
However, if you do want to quote anything I (Shortchanged) wrote here, feel free. I'd be flattered. Although there was one time I was - well I guess I was a little more amused than angry - to find an actual counselor and freelance writer use one of my posts from here on her website not only without my permission, but she just strategically changed a few words and cast me as if I had been one of her "patients." I couldn't believe the audacity of that! In fact I even went on the website and made a post exposing her by posting a link to my original post here...of course she deleted that post promptly when she found it....and I kept posting it back there...I played that game with her for a few days just to bug her!!! LOL!!!!
Sheesh, I have a WordPerfect file that is currently 214 pages of quotes from this board. Sometimes I even read them. It's the "putting them into practice" part that is so difficult for me.
Quote: An excellent suggestion from Dr. Harley's book His Needs, Her Needs for Parents is to have SF to the freqency of the spouse with a higher drive, but in the way preferred by the partner with the lower drive.
y'know this place is absolutely chock full of quotable stuff for any counsellor/therapist wanting to make their fortune with the next self-help book. Just a couple a weeks work cutting and pasting, some judicious editing, rearranging etc and voila! Maybe we should make it a joint venture.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
While you were gone we all fixed every marital issue, are getting laid constantly and even now are blushingly receiving text messages from our spouses that are so raunchy as to not be fit to print.
Oh.....I'm sorry I must have been dreaming...... Lately, the most action and interest seems to have been on Cobra's thread and some on Corri's also.
Thanks, Karen (for the laugh and the info). I plodded through cobra's thread and some of the others, too.
I had a nice time, although I don't feel particularly closer to W. We did avoid fighting, for the most part. The way sound carries in a campground kept us relatively quiet for the first two days, and then sharing a cabin with a friend kept her on her best behavior for the rest of the trip. On the way home yesterday (11 hours on the road with our DD5, finally arriving at 11:30pm), she either sat in back with DD5, or we listened to podcasts.
I'm at the point where I try to ask as little of her as possible, as I know that her answer will be some form of "no" or some sort of "test" of me. E.g., we were in a cafeteria yesterday morning and I asked her what time it was (I don't wear a watch, and my cellphone was in the van). Although she was wearing her watch, she said, "there's a clock on the wall over there." I looked at the clock, and then back to her, with, I am sure, some look of "I am tired of your sh!t" on my face. So, as I said, I ask very little of her.
Anyway, I'm surviving, not thriving, but "it could be worse" and "this too, shall pass" and "whatever" and "anyway..." and "tomorrow will be another day" and on and on.
I must get back to work. Thanks again for the chuckle.
Quote: I asked her what time it was (I don't wear a watch, and my cellphone was in the van). Although she was wearing her watch, she said, "there's a clock on the wall over there." ............... I ask very little of her.
HD, that sounded some what like BB, in that my question or statements don't directly get answered. There is usually something said or a reply on BB's part that relates to the question, but the question seems to be avoided in a direct way.
Me asking for less is my way to make me more responsible for my happiness.
Are we too singularly minded or is it the W's don't want to be pinned down or feel they shouldn't have to give/do many things for a spouse. Are we too needy? I don't think so.
My opinion is some W have an over inflated sense of entitlement and were somehow negatively influenced by the films like "Cinderella."
Does Ms HD watch things like "Cinderella, "Hulk", "I dream of Genie" "Bewitched"? BB does.
Since I'm such the smart azz that I am I would have been likely to say to my H if he'd have said "there's a clock o n the wall right there..." something like...."wow, you could have told me the time in the same amount of time it took you to point out the clock to me. Instead you chose to familiarize me with my surroundings...thank you." Stuff like that you have to say with absolute sencerity though, throws em for a loop LOL.
