Happy BD and best wishes for something more fullfilling in the future. Can't recall how long you have been in this predicament where you and your wife are housemates only - seems like it has been some time.
Your BD reminds me of my recent BD and 25th wedding anniversary (they are a few days apart). For the past few months I have been re-evaluating my views of moral correctness after marking these milestones. In our case we went on a spectacular 2 week cruise with one week of touring Italy as part of the big 5oth BD/25th anniversary celebration. This celebration marked the 14th straight year of no affection - none, not even a little. Got the big "I am not interested" when cuddling up with her on my 50th and got the "don't even think about it" lecture again as I opened my eyes on the morning of our 25th. During the rest of the holiday it was our usual brother/sister living as housemates routine.
After returning from our holiday, I got to thinking why do my morals require me to be a celebat monk? Keeping busy routines can't and doesn't fullfill the void you have when you have a moment to relax or satisfy you as you try to fall sleep at night. Self pleasure is great - but for how long? Why does life have to be so cold and unfeeling for so long? After all of this and realizing that life is short and your remaining time is getting shorter as each day passes, why do I hold the moral views that I have - why should these views ultimately hold me in such an unsatisfying and unfullfilling "prison" with very little chance for escape? I don't have any concrete answers for me at this point, but I am seriously considering redefining what is morally acceptable to me after years of being bound and shackled by these beliefs.
Not sure if you are at the same point in your life as me and with a younger family what this could mean for you HD, but at some point you may arrive at the same conclusions - some adaptation of your moral views may be appropriate.
