Nurturing, to me, is about much more than MB. Yeah, I MB and it's fine and good, but CeMar has a point. What I am "missing" is about much more than friction + time = orgasm. Sure, I can nurture the heck out of myself that way. The absence of the "connection" and the seemingly crystal clear message that my partner is not willing to take seriously my view that this connection is important to me and, consequently, is important to the health and happiness of the marriage, is why I'm looking to nurture myself.
I need to nurture myself so that I can overcome the resentment of not having the type of relationship I want. Nurture myself to fill the emptiness. Nurture myself, so that I can release the attachment I have in which I expect my wife to respond to me in a positive manner, physically and emotionally. Nurture myself so that I can give up all expectations of her. Nurture myself so that I do not seek anything from her.
It seems impossible to me right now. But perhaps you see that I'm talking about much more than MB.
And Corri, my moral framework is such that I will not seek a loving relationship outside of my marriage. My moral framework also requires me, right now, to put the needs of my DD5 ahead of my own. Yes, I know all about how unhealthy it can be to be a child in a house divided. She knows that mom and dad argue sometimes. She knows that mom and dad rarely kiss or are affectionate. But I know that the situation will have to get much worse bad between W and I to merit a decision that DD5 would be better off with the two of us divorced, than together.
So I'm in this marriage to stay. I need to figure out a way to do more than just keep my sanity. I need to figure out a way to nurture (to help grow, to care for, to nourish) myself, because there is no other source I can look toward or depend on to provide this to me in any significant way.
