Maybe MB helps others, but MB does little to help me. This is not about SEX, this is about sexual fulfilment which is WAY beyond just sex. We tend to put too much focus on just the orgasam. In good sex, sex is about EVERYTHING. Most importantly, sex is communication between two people. It is an incredible mind game. What I am trying to say is that most of the important aspects of sex can NOT be experienced when going solo. It is the WHY you have sex that is truly important, not the HOW you have sex. In true passionate sex, it is a deeply emotional experience, it is crucial to well being, and it can not be acheived in any other way. In effect, there is no substitute for it.
Oh, don't think for one moment I don't know that. I agree with all of that. CeMar, I don't post here very much (because I don't often have much to say that would really be any more helpful to people than what the more participative members already say). But I do browse these boards frequently - perhaps if only to reassure myself that I'm not alone. And I see how people here - especially the women - tend to malign you...and frankly I think there's a bit of unfairness to that. It's true you're blunt and you often have angry words - and that ruffles some feathers here...but I know full well that underneath it all you are just venting because you are HURTING. I share that HURT and that ANGER too. At the same time I've caught the drift that you're apparently a Christian - you don't consider divorce an option. Well so am I...and if you are a Christian than as a fellow Christian you share and can relate to all the rest of the conflict that brings with it in a situation like this. We saved ourselves for marriage - looking forward to what we thought (perhaps erroneously) was a Biblical promise that we would be rewarded with sex lives worth waiting for. We know we have a once-in-a-lifetime chance to choose a spouse who would keep us happy in the bedroom - and we blew our one chance and will never have another. And yet at the same time we know our wives are our blessings whom we love more than words can say even though we're mad as **** at them regarding this important area. There are times when I feel like the single worst thing I ever did for my sex life was become a Christian. And yet I know I can't and shouldn't let this ENORMOUS disappointment put distance between myself and the Lord.
As far as "MB" (those abbreviations drive me crazy but I'll play along anyway) - yes, MB can never replace the feelings of connectedness at times when a sex life is in sync. My own has been a roller coaster ride - when it's good, it's really good - but those times are few and far between, and in between the roller coaster drops into the abyss. I'm tired of those abyss drops. I refuse to get my hopes up any more over even a few days of good sex only to have them dashed a few days later.
"MB" smoothes the peaks and the valleys. Even if the rest is missing, there's at least some comfort in knowing when and where my next orgasm is coming from. That's more than I could ever say with my wife. After a certain number of years of working and struggling and trying to believe and maintain hope that this is not a permanent condition and some day I WILL have the sex life I got married for, there comes a time to realize that it IS a permanent condition, stop wasting time hoping and whining, and accept one's fate. It's actually more peaceful and livable than the constant roller coaster ride. And once you've finally come to the point of doing that, masturbation makes it at least a little easier to do.
