Dear Cat, I have been reading your posts I find them very insightful.
I was particularly caught by the following statement:
"The better the marriage, the saner and more sensible the spouse, the more alienated the romantic is likely to feel."
We had a very good marriage for over 18 years. She just seemed to get a wild hair one day and that was it. Still trying to piece it back together after 4 & 1/2 years. She dresses in an almost teenage fashion, exercises constantly, and probably is still communicating with a younger man whom she probably had an affair with.
We all moved back in together in June. She remains emotionally distant and says things like, "I'm here" and "It's not you, it's me." All, of course, just add to the confusion. There are no kisses. There are no hugs. We ML only if I initiate and she keeps her eyes closed. It's all just too bizarre.
As you can tell, I am sort of at a loss as to what to do. I feel like a fixture in her life.
We go to marraige counseling every 3 weeks. For some reason, she just continues to create little walls that halt real progress.
She is probably a histrionic and I have some obsessive traits, but none of the real trouble started until May 2001 when she met this other man at a local coffee shop.
Unfortunately, the saga continues and I am sort of at a loss as to where to turn next.
Just, fyi, there are no issues with alcohol, drugs, or money (I've had the same great job for over 20 years).
