Is it unfair to take the sex back?

[74Kim]

Having A bad moment here.

Things are going well w/my H and I just feeling sorry for myself again. I would rather vent here than to him.

I am happy with the present and the thoughts of the future, but I just cant get through the past. I just dont know HOW he could do this to ME. I have always stood by in every obstacle he has come across. Believe me there were alot. I never threw anything back in his face, We got through it and it was forgotten. I just cant figure out how I could be so disensable. I was supposed to mean something. I took care of his 7 children, one being my step son who Ive raised as my own since he was 1. He had nothing but a backpack and a baby when I met him. I didnt care, I seen his heart and his good spirit. I just guided him to be the man he wanted to be, and for 9 years he was. I was his support system. He respected me he honored me. As well did I. He came so far from when I met him. People envied our relationship.

He keeps claiming it was the stress of the household that made him want to bolt. And I can get that. I want to run from here everyday. But for me, Its not ant one person that makes me want to leave, its just the situation we are here. But why did he have to go as far as sleeping with someone else. Its like nothing in our life mattered at all. I know you all are feeling the same stuff,and can understand. Thank you all for being here for me. Its funny I can trust complete strangers with my most intimate thoughts but I can not trust my H. I want to so badly. He still means the world to me. as funny as it may seem I can start to respect him. The whole process of the A lasted only 4 months. He came back totally dedicated to fixing us. I have seen a wonderful change in him. I know how difficult this must be for him to do. He had always told me that I was his angel, watching over him. If it werent for me he has no idea where he would be. So I take that to heart. An angel just wouldnt give up on someone. And neither will I. I just need the strength for myself. I am getting it slowly. I just have bad moments once in a while.

I think I might move over to the piecing forum.Because that is what we are doing now. Piecing our marriage together.

THANX!!!!
Kim