Is it unfair to take the sex back?

[74Kim]

it is my birthday and I am having a really bad day. For no particular reason. Just that its supposed to be a good day and I can not stop festering on the pain. My DH is going out of his way to make my day happy. So I know I need to step up, but I just cant. He took the day off work so I wouldnt be left to care for the kids by myself. He took the bigger kids shopping for me. So I should be happy.

How do I start feeling good about myself? When I first was told about the PA I feel I had a good attitude about myself. I did not take the A personal. I know that sounds crazy, but, I knew it was because He really didnt think of me and only himself, wanting out of the sitch he was in with this lifestyle. He was doing MLC thing. But as time progresses I have a hard time just seeing it as that. I can not stop wallowing in self pity. I thought it would pass a bit. How do I start feeling good about myself? Feeling that I do matter. I feel so worthless. I can not stand being so pathetic.
I think all this attention that I have been giving my husband is going to his head. Like, I want him so bad and the OW wanted him so bad that he thinks he is great, and can get anyone he wants.
This weekend DH and I went to the Steeler game, and out for drinks afterwards. We had a good time, but I could not just let loose and have fun. I couldnt help feeling jealous of all the young pretty girls. Not that my husband was even looking, or thinking of them. I am sure he wasnt but I was. I kept thinking that his head is swollen and he thinks that he could "get" them if he wanted. It made me so mad. I dont know what to do. I did not let my insecurities ruin our night though. I just felt like crap.