Sorry this has happened to you. To hold back sex as punishment would indeed be a bad choice but to not feel ready to re-engage in sex is a different story. Your H has inflicted the most deep kind of pain one S can do to another S. Certainly, he probably wants to put it all behind him asap and carry on like before. You do not nor should you want to! Check out DR as it talks a great deal about healing from an affair. You need time to resolve this loss and, yes, when you are betrayed it is a loss, a loss of trust. The person you most trusted in this world has turned on you in an awful way. This is fact. You hurt, you should. Healing takes time. He has taken a step in ending his A and that should be recognized. It does not give him the right to just expect you to carry on business as usual. So, don't "hold back" but heal instead. Keep us posted.
