Lifer, I wanted to add one other tidbit that I posted on another thread but I'm not sure if you read that thread. I didn't always know or understand that sex equaled love for my H. I really had the mind set that it was just a "need" of his and that he should be more patient cuz I was fulfilling the kids needs and the house etc and I was tired. Once I accepted in my mind and felt the connection that sex gave us it made a huge difference in my desire and drive. I'm not saying the sex was bad I just didn't realize the importance. I am very regretful now and wish I could turn back the clock. So I guess what I am hinting (OK maybe shouting) to you is to try to explain to your wife (if you have'nt all ready) that it is not just about the sex, it's how you feel loved and connected. One other thing that "sparked" my drive during the lows would be when H really took the effort to make it special. H hired the babysitter and whisked me off to dinner and brought me back to a candle lit bedroom or surprised me with a one night get away to a hotel. And the desire went on for longer than that night, I guess you might say it filled my lovebank. I'll shut up now cuz I'm not sure if you were looking for that kind of info or just hope Good Luck NR
