Quote: Grasshopper, why is that your name? just curious.
Well, my name when I first got here was Totallymessedup. I posted under that name for awhile and then someone suggested that I was doing ok with all this DB stuff and that totallymessedup didn't really apply to me anymore, that I should change my screen name. I didn't right away but then they kept asking (I think...anyway, it's somewhere on my VAST number of threads) and I finally did change it to grasshopper. Joker is right, it comes from the old Kung-fu series on TV. I chose it because in my mind I equate the name with someone who's diligently learning something.
Quote: Has your W told you if her A was physical?
Yes and no. She finally admitted after denying it (she says she never did deny it but...) that there WAS a physical component to their affair but that it did NOT include sex. Of course, that bring up all kinds of "Clinton-esque" things to mind about the individual definitions of sex, but... Anyway, she says one of the reasons she wanted to break things off with him was that he was pressuring her to have sex and she didn't want to. She usually makes a big issue about the fact that she "would not do that" but then again, before all this she would never have had an affair either so...
In terms of why she still would talk to him, she SAYS she was still trying to back things off but then after awhile, started having feelings again. Big surprise. This time, since saying she was still in love with him about a month and a half ago, and then supposedly saying she decided to work on our marriage and that was "over" for good, I don't know if they talk. My main reason for thinking they do is that her phone stays in her car but even that is not proof because she admits that he still calls her but she SAYS she doesn't answer. I doubt that.
I think that if she ever gets serious about our marriage, 100% committed to it, she will HAVE to go cold turkey. At this point, I suspect there is still a tie that binds and for whatever reason she's still not 100% back in. I could be wrong but most of all, I am trying not to dwell on that. She will come clean, or not on her own schedule. I understand about how the lies may destroy our marriage, but I am unwilling to force that issue. If she decides to be with me for good and tell me the truth, it will be because she wants to, not because I "emote" it out of her. Sorry, I can't be responsible for THAT part of our reconciliation. I will meet her 3/4 of the way, but she does have to take a few steps on her own, and this is one of them.
