You are awesome. In two days you have both helped me see things I couldn't and validated some things I'm doing right, like being pre-emptive on how H might handle certain situations. Granted, I don't do it 100% of the time and I need to, no exceptions. Gradually my fear that we will not be ok again is subsiding and I am less reactive in a defensive way.
I like your letter. Did you actually give that to your W? I hope so. She has no right to both reside in your home and not willingly be an open book to you. She must make herself be aware that anything she does out of your sight causes you anxiety, and that equals lack of respect towards you, and quite possibly for herself. I know the cell phone thing well. I work at a desk so H can always call here, and he does, several times a day, or I call him. When not at work and if I forget my cell phone when I go into a store and he calls and I don't answer I'm sure he freaks out and has a mild heart attack. He handles it well though most of the time. And the first thing I always say is I’m sorry I forgot the phone. Sometimes he forgets that I have gone somewhere that I can't have a phone.
What you W is doing to you is kind of mean. Her reasons may be because she feels like how I explained I do in my previous posts, but she needs to verbalize it if that's the case. You are both hyper sensitive right now, in polar opposite directions, so you're bound to misinterpret eachother as we do. However, her actions may be an indication that OM is not out of the picture. Do you know he is for sure? Is it just her emotions she's dealing with, or is it possible she still has contact with him? Why is 11 - 1 the prime time? Does she look you in the eye when she talks to you? I know that until I came clean and was completely honest with my H I couldn't. It's possible she hasn't told you everything yet. You can't really demand answers from her, but you can demand respect, and you can tell her that too. Ask her if she thinks she is respecting you by leaving you guessing all the time. Ask her what she's getting out of it by not trying to avoid situation that might cause you grief. That's different than what I was talking about earlier, where I sometimes feel trapped underwater, like we'll never surface, the times that H chooses to relate a fun time to my A. That is his choice, and all choices have reactions whether he means to or not. But this is different.
Ok I have a dumb question, and I can't seem to PM you so everyone will have to get a good laugh, but how do you post quotes and how do you post multiple quotes in a response?
I'll have to look at your other post to finish replying.
