Well if you want to be "attacked" you will get some of it here, but not too much. When and if you do, just realize people are on this board because of some kind of pain in their lives. Some of it is healed, and some of it is raw.
I agree you are not dirt or evil. An evil piece of dirt is a person who sexually abuses a child. Or someone who will shoot a family at point blank range in front of their kids for a few bucks.
You my dear are not dirt or evil.
However, you did make a mistake. I too get consumed by guilt. It is easy to do. I am still trying to heal and forgive myself. I can give you some advice, but not too much. I'm still trying to figure all this out in my own mind.
Just try to keep an open mind and have thick skin. There is a collective wisdom on this board. The vast majority want to help. So let them.
