Not one affair, but anothe OW in the wings!

[ReDesigner]

Oh my gosh... I don't know what to do! My husband of 24 years has been involved with a woman on the opposite coast. He claims he's "in love" with her. He told our 14-year old daughter he will marry her someday. This is the same day that he announced we would not be living together as a family, but would live in separate apartments once we sell the house.

Now, it's become clear to me that there's another OW waiting in the wings, in case the long distance one doesn't work out. This OW lives in the same city and has been working closely with my husband on various projects in line with his work. She is a bitter divorcee who went as far as changing her son's name to her last name. I just learned today from my daughter that whenever my husband has a problem with his family, he calls this woman. My daughter has been doing things with this woman. On the weekend, she invite my daughter out to the movies, then on Sunday, she took her shopping to her son's boutique. Her 27-year old son is a fashion model, but owns the shop as a main source of income. My daughter says he's "hot." Meanwhile, his mommy seems to be trying to further ingratiate herself by throwing a "surprise party" for my husband's birthday this week! My daughter told me when I asked her what else she wanted to do for her father's birthday. She asked me not to be angry or blame anyone, but there was a surprise party already planned. When she asked this OW about inviting me, the woman told her "Your dad probably wouldn't like that."

He completely ignored my birthday in April. I was quite hurt, especially since the next day, after my birthday, the long-distance OW called to talk to him on our home phone. (I believe she was bawling him out because one of my other friends sent a Dr. Phil "Advice for the woman dating a married man."

Now my daughter has said I shouldn't be so "small" as to not do anything for his birthday. I got him a funny card, but I do not plan to get him a gift.

What do you think? I'm getting annoyed at this other interfering woman in town who claims she's his "friend" and my husband's terrible behaviour towards me.

We are in mediation. I'm planning to move out this month once the agreement has gone to the lawyer for legalization.

I do not want a divorce, but I'm trying my best to be cool about this and get on with my life, in hopes that he'll soon see what he is losing in our family.

Suggestions?