Quote: I enjoyed this post because it gives me a good visual. Since I am naturally ambitious I need a mental picture to keep me from going down that competitive road again. I don't feel the need but I still need to make a conscious effort to be in a mental place that allows him to lead me.
I think the toughest thing which I mentioned in a previous post is figuring out how to be self-disciplined without being ambitious. If I don't maintain self-discipline then I sink into a funk of depression and low self-worth. Previously I could only maintain self-discipline by working towards a goal. Since I had no clue what my H's five year plan, or six month plan or plan for next weekend was or if he even had one, I had to work towards my own plans. Now I'm just working on the theory that my H is just the sort of person who doesn't make plans until he has the resources to fulfill them. I would decide that I want to go to Hawaii and then work to make money to achieve the goal. My H would work to save up money and only realize that he wanted to go on vacation when the funds were available. So, I'm sort of doing my share in the relationship without worrying about what I'm working towards. I find that it's actually pretty relaxing. My hopes are high in direct proportion to the extent that I've lowered my expectations.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
