My W is EXTREMELY strong at math. She graduated 4th in her class (out of 2000 students) as a Math major. In 4 semesters of calculus, her average grade was 99.5% It didn't matter if it was abstract algebra, statistics, or transformational geometry (the king of spatial recognition classes), she kicked azz big time.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I HATED algerbra. I cheated my way through Geometry. I studied logic like nobody's business because I had such an amazing crush on my G.A. and didn't want to appear stupid. I froze in the final, and did one proof.
I personally feel that many women grow into the logic of math.... because... I GET quantum physics. Scares the sh!t out of me. If someone sits down and explains what all the symbols in the equation mean to me, and I can go look up the theories behind it... and I GET it. Maybe it's because I learned how to code. I dunno.
If the answers had correlated with your theory that HD women are good at math then I would have said it's the testosterone dummy! Testosterone is responsible for sex drive in men AND women. Testosterone also gives good spatial awareness skills.
However it seems there is no such correlation here.
For the record my own maths skills are the opposite of Jenny's where she always had to translate it into a sentence I always had to "picture" it. Once I lost the picture (2nd year at Uni) I couldn't really do it anymore.
Number Theory, Geometry, Algebra, Stats and Logic were my strong suits.
For the record my brother sucks at Maths but would definitely be classified as HD.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
blackfoot, There is a high probability that people who understand higher math have greater problem solving skills than those who don't. What do you think the correlation(s) between greater problem solving skills and HD is/are?
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
FWIW guys...math is something I've struggled with my whole life. Sure, I can do the basic stuff...but when algebra hit in school, I hit a wall. I could literally feel both sides of my brain fighting back and forth...one side saying "but the letter X just represents a #", the other side saying "but the letter X isn't a number!"
I can now do this type of math, but let me just say for the record....I HATE IT! I still find myself staring at a letter that is supposed to represent a number fighting that same argument in my head.
GEL, I have to admit, X representing a number did a number on me as well.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
My theory of it being a result of the math, and specifically the spatial awareness would be blown out immediately by your W.
However, you know I think your W is highly sexually receptive, just repressed. You know when you behave appropriately, so does she. A womans HD/LD is not in absence to her perception of her H. Its because of it. If its repressed, then its there, its just held back. She is afraid of it. This is different then a woman who doesnt even know its there, which is not at all uncommon. This is bewildering to all men, and even some women. My experience says these women are not math inclined.
If a man is unwilling to make steps to change his Wifes perception of him, he will have NO STATUS QUO CHANGE. If a woman wants to have a succesful M, it is her job to control her perspective.
Its pretty obvious why these women are so hot for their H's. Thats why I like hearing about their exchanges so much, so I can see what a alpha male looks like. Other then looking in the mirror. LOL. sheesh I kill me.
My thinking on the math part of it is exactly what Hap mentioned. If a woman has a bit more testosterone then it would bump her up in her overall sexuallity, but also bump her up in her competitive drive. The tougher/stubborn/forceful she is, the more her H will have to be self assured. Guys ditch these women because they are worn out, or develop that feeling that she wont 'act like a woman'. His perception of his manliness is not being validated, by the appropriate responsiveness of her, or he cant pass the tests, so he finds a female who does or lets him.
Self assured appears to other people when you have immovable boundaries. when your boundaries fluctuate, you appear placating. Even if your boundaries are not in her best interest, as long as you arent placating or supplicating she will continue to have desire.
Making a decision to change a boundary, and making that decisions for your own reasons, looks entirely different to a female then aquiescence. It may be what they want, it very likely is a true need, but when done out of supplication, its going to cause a reaction in her that makes the man completely bewildered as too why she is suddenly icked out by him. He just did what she wanted....and now he is being punished.
Its not punishment for giving her what she needs. Its for doing it in a supplicating fashion.
This IMO is why physically abusive and emotionally abusive men hold there women for so long. He is still demonstrating MALENESS. Strong assertive etc. The slow drain on her LB, from lack of taking care of her needs takes a lot longer then flipping off her desire switch with placating and supplicating.
Wow thats a tangent.
One of the advantages that the women have on the BB learning from each other, is that it is word/logic based. Thats their forte. They communicate with each other so much differently.
One recent example was when Cine and Corri where talking, then Lifer and Martelo? were commenting about looks, and shoes, and makeup on Cine's thread, and suggesting, that the women not look for a male opinion about that.
Yeah those were the words Corri used, and tried to convey certain feelings, but thats not at all what the ladies where actually talking about.
There was another new poster recently a LDM, and his situation was so rife with his misunderstanding of female code...
It was exactly this phenomonon that I was wondering about with Deida. Unless you can relate it to an experience or feeling in your life, its hard for many guys to 'picture'.
Chromo, You learned a lot when you were able to observe it, visually, by looking at certain IRL situations, or seeing pictures.
If a woman wants to assist her H to change, she is going to have to communicate with him in a way that 'shows him' a picture of what it looks like. That means a dramatic departure from the way she is used to and likes to communicate.
Quote: Its pretty obvious why these women are so hot for their H's. Thats why I like hearing about their exchanges so much, so I can see what a alpha male looks like. Other then looking in the mirror. LOL. sheesh I kill me.
LOL- I think you are on the right track but you are missing an important point. It is a turn-off for a man to be placating but if a man is so unwilling to be placating that he sees responding to his wife's sexual desire as a placating move then he is forever going to be "chopping off his nose to spite his face". This became so clear to me when I finally got so fed up that I said some things to my H along the lines of "I am so sick of wondering whether or not I'm going to get laid I would rather just agree to not have sex for the next 3 monthes." and his response was to instantly initiate sex. My H would have the same sort of response to a woman who he perceived as trying to control him by withholding sex as he had to me because his perception was that I was trying to control him by demanding sex. It is interesting to note that other men on this BB have conjectured that I was unconsciously using my high sex drive to "compete" with my H. IMO this is a thoroughly misguided attempt to assign male psychology to my behavior but by understanding that men naturally see "ambition" or "desire" or "drive" in terms of competitive behavior, I was able to figure out what I was doing wrong. I really wasn't trying to compete with my H but I was giving him that signal because I am naturally ambitious. The message I needed to send out strong and clear was "I am not your competition. I am on YOUR team. You will be serving YOUR OWN BEST INTERESTS by caring for me.".
Part of the reason I had trouble with doing this in the past is that I saw my H as not being very ambitious. I felt like I always had to come up with a plan because he either didn't have one or was unwilling to communicate it to me. But by always being the one who came up with the plan I was taking on too much responsibility and too much control in an effort to relieve the anxiety I might feel at the thought of floating through life without a plan. Therefore, I had to follow the rule of thumb which is that you always have to do the thing that is hardest for you to do in order to grow. Type 7 me had to stop making plans.
Basically, this is what I've been doing lately- not making plans. I guess I'm doing it right because I don't feel depressed or repressed but actually rather relaxed and mildly curious about what life might bring. Since I no longer am taking so much responsibility for the direction of my marriage, it is dead easy for me to communicate to my H that if his plan for the future includes being with me then he ought to include some regular sex in the mix because I am now somebody with preferences rather than plans.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
J, This post is exactly the spot I am in, as well. Exactly. Thank you for articulating it for me! I am a reformed competitor, too, obviously. Also a fellow Heavenly Seven. lol
I enjoyed this post because it gives me a good visual. Since I am naturally ambitious I need a mental picture to keep me from going down that competitive road again. I don't feel the need but I still need to make a conscious effort to be in a mental place that allows him to lead me.
Glad to hear that everything is falling into place in your home. What a great success you are.
