Quote: It's obvious to me. You finally lost enough weight to be considered attractive.
LOL- No that can't be it. I've been "too fat" when I've actually been thinner than I am now. Though I am in quite good shape at the moment and my current hairstyle is probably the best I've ever had.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Your perception has changed RADICALLY about your H since your thread called...... I cant remember the name. You talked about reading to much as a child and this being the fifth try.....it was so negative, he suckes he sucks blah blah...
You have stoped being a doormat to your H, you call crap behavior crap behavior, youve been funny and true to your feelings, without being needy, AND you have let go of the reins and let your H take care of you IN HIS WAY... after all you deserve the brand name shampoo....or whatever....
I am really happy for you too. The biggest change is your perception of him. Focusing on the positives instead of his weaknesses.
seriously..... WHO CARES.... YOUR GETTING LAID!!!!
Quote: you have let go of the reins and let your H take care of you IN HIS WAY...
This was basically my theory also. I am happy that you were able to independently confirm it for me and thereby satisfy my nerdy need to know- LOL. I like your use of the phrase "let go of the reins" also. I've had trouble describing my current successful modus operandi because I can't come up with a word to describe it that doesn't have a negative connotation. If I say that I've been more "passive" or "submissive" it seems like I've made myself into more of a doormat rather than less of one. The best I can come up with is that I've been striving to be more self-disciplined but less ambitious. In our culture we are taught that the way to achieve happiness and self-esteem is to set a goal and then work hard to achieve it and then we will be happier and have more self-esteem as a result. Howver, if we are always exercising self-discipline in the pursuit of personal goals (even if these are superficially selfless goals such as running the PTA or working to save wildlife) we are sort of making ourselves into valuable property that is highly mortgaged. OTOH, if we can be self-disciplined without ambition then we are more like money in the bank.
If I accept the premise that I want to be in a relationship with a man who is operating in Alpha mode then I need to ask myself what anyone operating in Alpha mode would want in a relationship. If you are in Alpha mode you don't want to be with somebody who is lacking self-discipline and self-worth. They are useless to themselves and a liability to everyone else with whom they are in relation. You also don't want to be with someone who is using all or most of their own resources in pursuit of their own ambitions or somebody who is only able to be self-disciplined in pursuit of their own ambitions because being in relationship with someone like this can only benefit you to the extent that you share common goals. My theory is that Alpha men want to be with women who are highly self-disciplined and derive their self-worth from this self-discipline itself rather than from the specific result or reward for the self-discipline. This is a sort of 19th century virtue which isn't really taught to anyone these days. The best example I can think of is the heroine of "Bleak House" by Dickens.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
This is your second brilliant post of the day. No more for you.
hahahahahaha.
Men do not want to compete with there wives. Now, whether the man sets up the competition in his own mind --because of her greater earning power for example-- is a whole nother ball of wax.
He competes everday, everywhere, with everyone he comes across. Thats not your fault, or the way it has to be.... maybe... His wife and home should be a shelter and a refuge, a place to get recharged.
For her recharging is emotional yo-yoing. I comprehend. Please feel free to deny and refute. I dare you. hahahhahaha.
For him its flat line. peace. quiet.
SSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Speaking of theories, I have a theory about HD (my version) women. Ones that are relatively sexual, despite there perception of their man.
This is my first patheticely small, and unofficial sampling of course.
You, Hap, x, the math major, are all good with math, high on the spatial awareness cognitive? I dont know about you and the spatial awareness. You all are HD. I was curious about HP, and Karen. I remember one of you saying you had to transfer the math back in forth in your head, and that caught my eye, (so did the fact that your hormones affected it) because x was really good with the spatial awareness, but when she would do her formulaes .... I could never figure out why she would take the... IMO.... long route to get there.
anyways, just struck me as interesting, high math skills, especially the high spaitial awarness, which is not common in females. wondereing if there was any relation to being generally HD.
I'll bite. I am LOUSY at math. I attribute my lousiness to all the moving around and the resulting educational gaps that happened because we were a Navy family. However, I am terrific at statistics, very good at fiscal planning and numbers of that kind. I was also pretty good with logic. Spatial relations I would say - average.
Quote: anyways, just struck me as interesting, high math skills, especially the high spaitial awarness, which is not common in females. wondereing if there was any relation to being generally HD.
Well, I am good at math DESPITE the fact that I have poor spatial skills. I am good at logic and theory, any part of math that you can translate into an English sentence, and I s*ck at anything that can best be understood by looking at a diagram or graph or encountering it in a lab. My verbal abilities are actually significantly better than my math abilities (based on my standardized test scores) therefore my math skills ride piggy-back on my verbal skills. If I were to make a far-fetched analogy between this and my sexuality I might say that I am able to be fairly assertive sexually because I am very receptive sexually. My sexual assertiveness rides piggy-back on my sexual responsiveness in the same way that my math skills ride piggy-back on my general intelligence.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Just curious, you say you are lousy at MATH, but then say you are good at statistics and logic, which are integral parts of math, or at least math in the real world (perhaps that is the key). Do you feel lousy at algebra or calculus or something? I will say as a teacher that MANY more people think they are lousy at math than actually are. Math just provokes a rejection response in a lot of people (so does physics).
BF,
To test your theory you could throw out some spatial relations questions/problems to see how well people do. Of course in this non-controlled setting we'll just have to trust that people won't google the answer.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
My algebraic equations are good/ok. I never understood one second of calculus. Got one of my few D's in that class. I hated geometry big time - survived it with a B-/C- depending upon what we were studying at the time. I am great at stuff like balancing my checkbook to the penny, consumer math, math in the sense of personal financial planning is understandable, statistics/research theory make sense to me but fancy math does not. I sometimes wonder if I just took all that stuff at an immature/flighty time of my life and if I were to retake calculus I might do better.
Math is not my strong suit at ALL. I did not do well in any type of math, be it statistics or trig. However, I absolutely kicked arse at logic, which is basically math with words.
In fact, I have such a strong math phobia that I went waaaaay overboard in math when homeschooling my kindergartener last year. She will fly through 1st grade math this year with ease because we covered all of it last year. I was never that *bad* at math, I just didn't excel at it and so therefore I avoided it and gravitated towards the stuff where I could feel like a smarty.
To answer your real question (just like a man to word the question all weird), no my mind seems to be typically 'female', strong verbally..weak in math. My mom, otoh, loves math and is an electrical engineer. She had me write her english papers all thru college because she was deathly afraid of them.
It is common for people to be strong in many areas of math but weak in calculus. It is an amazingly useful tool that allows you to solve things you wouldn't think possible. But most calculus classes end up being alphabet soup focusing on memorizing a few tricks. Because many math profs have never really had to use calculus in the "real world", they don't know how to teach it where the average student can really get into it.
Oddly enough, I find the MOST difficulty with statistics. Although George W. isn't exactly a paragon of intelligence, he really used the right phrase when he called it "fuzzy math." Statistics are so easy to manipulate, primarily because the axioms on which they are based are completely untested. If one statistics test doesn't get you the answer you want, there are many others with different underlying assumptions that might.
Whattya say BF? We can come up with the math test for HD women. I'll bet we could get published and garner at least a few footnotes in the next self-help book. We could use the SSM women as our case study.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
