Re Mojo By applying this concept to the issue of sex within marriage, I was able to see that my problem was a lack of conviction. If I truly believed that a regular sex life was a good thing and essential to the happiness of a marriage then I should be able to withstand any sort of defensive behavior my H might dish out.
A good concept but difficult to carry out when a person is working from a deficit position, IE Hairdog, Lostgal, me, some/most of the time.

I believe a regular sex life is good and a necessary part of a M, some of our partners see it otherwise.

(deserve or entitled to a sexual relationship)IMO you need to transcend this realm of thinking in order to succeed.
I see where this helps JJ.

I must do whatever possible to ensure that I have sex on a regular basis because I know that as a HD person I will not function well in my marriage without it.". We are better off proceeding from a conviction based on self-acceptance rather than one based on self-esteem probably because self-acceptance is the bedrock upon which true self-esteem is built. If we are truly self-accepting than "other-validation" would never be needed.
Wow, that is super unfused.

Jenny, I am happy for you. When is your first book signing taking place?

Lou