Glad things are going well for you Jenny. The scheduled sex idea sounds cool. Kudos to your H for sticking to it.

I am still living in existing-on-crumbs land, never knowing when I might get a decent meal. It's driving me nuts. This weekend I went sailing with some friends and colleagues. One of the guys on the trip is an old old friend of mine - I've known him 25 years, since we were in college together. There was a time long, long ago when he asked flat out if I would sleep with him, I said no. Mainly because he just asked flat out rather than bothering to romance me. Anyway we've stayed friends and every now and then it occurs to me to wonder what would have happened if I'd said yes. For one thing I do know that he ain't happy unless he's getting it every day Whether or not that would have made me the LD one I'll never know.

This weekend on the boats we decided the best sleeping arrangement would be to split into a boys boat and a girls boat. There were no couples, or even "maybe" couples in our group so that seemed like the best way. My friend (M) can be a bit of an entitlement monster so he was whinging about this arrangement as there were only 5 girls and 8 guys. Both boats having 8 berths each. As it turned out I ended up with one of the bigger cabins to myself. So M says, "I might have to bunk in with you seeing as you've got so much room". He said it in a very brotherly fashion with no ulterior motives. So I just said "Do you snore? Do your feet smell?" He agreed yes in both cases, so I said "well tough luck then". Really and truly if it hadn't been for the witnesses I'd have leapt at the chance - Lord knows why (shakes head at self). Later on I caught myself sobbing in my sleep. I'm sure none of this would be the case if I weren't existing on crumbs.

The God's honest truth is that I wouldn't rather be married to M than to my H, I wouldn't even want to have an affair with him - but these thoughts enter my head because I'm not getting any. I see a potential tasty meal with all the trimmings and I want some.

There's a message there for all the LD spouses reading this. I can understand your feelings but be careful what you are doing to the spouse that feels deprived of love and affection because you deprive them of sex.

Fran

if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs
Erica Jong