Things continue to go quite well here in loosely scheduled sex land. My sanity is definitely benefiting from this arrangement/agreement. Interestingly, I think the biggest improvement this is going to lead to in our marriage is not necessarily an improvement in emotional connection. The biggest change that I've noticed is that it has already started to make a difference in the way I function in my marriage. Feeling "sex starved" or like I didn't know when I might get my next meal of sex caused me to be more concerned with the short-run rather than the long-run. I couldn't make good decisions in my relationship for the same reason that a starving person can't make good decisions about nutrition. By insisting on regular sex as a fundamental basis of the marital relationship, in an odd way I feel like I am more free to make "moral" or right-minded decisions within the relationship. It's like I no longer have to ask myself "Would it be okay to steal if you were starving?". Instead I can insist that "I will be fed" and state "It is wrong to steal.". I'm not implying that I was doing anything actually immoral in my pursuit of sex within my relationship, my behavior was perhaps more along the lines of too frequently acting in the interest of the short-run rather than the long-run. I guess my point is that I think regular sex will lead to an improvement in emotional connection in my relationship because it will lead to me being more responsive rather than reactive and more capable of acting in the interest of the relationship in areas outside of the sexual.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver