First and foremost this is much more difficult time you are working through, rather than just a divorce.
Two. Get help, as you know there are many options available to you in your area.
Three. Get legal counsel, now, this is the only opportunity to see your son. Explain everything and tell the truth. Do not be mean and vengeful or try to get revenge, simply try to get to see your son.
Three. Take care of you and try as impossible as it is, to take the focus off of XH. Walk, exercise, run, eat right, read, go to the movies.
Past is past. Time to move forward, if only to keep from focusing on the past which despite our wishes cannot be undone.
This is a difficult and slow and painful process, perhaps even more so in your case.
I've been divorced almost 2 years and I have still have a hole in my heart, head and pysche.
Be patient. Be good to you and quit beating yourself up; this does not help or change anything.
