For the regular SSM-ers, the Schnarch site is worth visiting, if you haven't been there in a while. It's been dusted off and beefed up. There's an opportunity to take his four-day intensive for a reduced fee or even free!
There's also a quiz about your sex life. No one here will be surprised at their own results, but here are the overall results, that may be surprising:
Quote: Survey Statistics 278 people have filled out this survey
1. How often do you and your partner have sex (on average)? 13% Not in the last year 18% Several times a year 30% Once or twice a month 28% Once or twice a week 11% Four or five times a week
2. What are the longest periods you have gone without having sex together? 22% 7 months to a year or more 17% 3-6 months 27% 1-2 months 17% 2-3 weeks 17% A week
3. Just how passionate and erotic is your sexual relationship? 13% Sex is non-existent 15% Sex is passionless, mechanical, and non-erotic 50% Sex is friendly but predictable and uninspired, lacking in creativity and spontaneity 18% Sex is pretty steamy 4% If it got any hotter, our bed might catch fire
4. How much intimacy and emotional connection is present when you have sex? 17% Sex is an intense meeting of our minds and souls, and not just our bodies. 22% Sex is a little personal, but much of 'who I am sexually' never really shows. 33% Sex is mostly on trading orgasms. 17% There is no joining. I spend most of my time fantasizing about other partners, or thinking about other things. 11% Sex is non-existent
5. Do you and your partner structure your relationship to avoid sex and intimacy? 23% We go to bed at the same time and use it as a time to connect including sexually. 25% We go to bed at the same time and connect, but it rarely leads to sex 28% We go to bed at the same time, but there is no physical or emotional connection between us. 13% We go to bed at different times to avoid having sex. 12% We sleep in different bedrooms or live apart much of the time.
6. How often do you and your partner kiss during sex? 34% We kiss multiple times in almost every sexual encounter 16% We kiss at least once in three quarters of our sexual encounters 14% We kiss at least once in half of our sexual encounters 25% We rarely kiss when we have sex 10% We never have sex
7. Do you and your partner ever have eyes-open sex? 14% I and/or my partner sometimes have orgasms while looking into each others eyes. 37% We sometimes make eye-contact during sex. 14% We open our eyes, but never make eye-contact 25% One or both of us keep our eyes closed during sex. 10% We never have sex
8. Do you and/or your partner have sexual dysfunctions (problems with lubrication or erections, or orgasms)? 28% Neither of us have difficulty getting aroused or having orgasms. 15% I am (and/or my partner is) slow to arouse, but once we get started, we don’t have any difficulties. 25% One or both of us occasionally have difficulty with arousal and/or orgasms. 23% One or both of us frequently have difficulty with arousal and/or orgasms. 9% We never have sex
9. Do you or your partner struggle with low desire to have sex (before you start)? 33% Almost always 25% Usually 23% Sometimes 12% Rarely 8% Never
10. Do you or your partner have problems with lack of desire during sex? 20% Almost always 16% Usually 28% Sometimes 20% Rarely 16% Never
Category Statistics 15% Sex is Dead (10-20 points)
34% Sex is comatose and in danger of dying (21-29 points)
22% Sex is asleep and needs a wake-up call (30-35 points)
18% Sex is alive and well (36-42 points)
12% You have a robust erotic and passionate sexual relationship (43-50 points)
Of course, the sample group is certainly not random, as it would be only a self-selected population that would visit this site and take the quiz. But of those taking the quiz, fully 70% have troubled sexual relationships as measured by Schnarch's questions.
