No t2sp . . nothing you said was taken in the wrong way.
I understand what you are saying. I feel that if I don't get riled up at him I will just continue to follow him like a puppy. I really did LOVE my H . . to a fault. I was almost willing to let him be with the OW . . if he just wouldn't toss me aside. CRAZY HUH? It hurts when I'm not angry . . because then I just think about how unfair it is that he is happy with her . . . and how unfair it is that I am so in love and that it has to hurt so much. See like right now . . just typing that got me all crying. I just don't want to cry anymore. With all the crap he's done I am VERY angry at him VERY VERY angry. Made enough to knock the snot outta him . . and say I hate him. Deep down though it's like slash at an opened wound . . that he did come in a "steal" the stuff that he knows I can't replace.
I found out my mother is mad at me because I talked to him about Kiya. She wants me to drop all the support crap and just cut him out of EVERYONE's life TOTALLY. She wants to never allow him to see the girls again . . . try to get full custody and terminate his parental rights . . all of that. She got REALLY mad that I had talked to him about the baby. So that's what crawled up her butt.
I'm just trying to take the high road you guys talk about . . . and my family is going to punish me for it. GREAT! What to do! It's not like I'm being all friendly with my H even . . it's not like the thought of reconciling is even in my mind right now. IT WAS ABOUT KIYA! and she's STILL mad.
They all want me to be angry at him. Honestly at least the angry stage doesn't hurt . . . EVERYTHING else feels wrong and it hurts .. . hurts like hell . . but when I'm angry it doesn't have to hurt because I want him out of my life.
Jeesh . . I understand. . . but he's leaving me to get remarried . . have a new different family. There isn't a snowballs chance in hell he and I will ever end up together. . . I'm still here FOR me. So that I can talk about the things I'm going through . . and have someone listen.
The marriage is over . . and I do except that. I don't ever expect to have that person in my life again. I don't call him . . . I did because he didn't know about the appointment for Kiya (heck I didn't know until I was there) and I wanted him to know. If that's wrong I won't do it. Sorry
Well I had an alright day . . but it's 8 and my PMA hit the floor. . . What a week!