I personally don't think this guy is going to give up that easily. This guy wants to "rescue" Emily from her sitch and try to make everything wonderful for her. Even IF Emily was divorced and liked this guy's personality, it would still be a bad relationship because it would be starting off on an unequal basis, because this guy doesn't think Emily can take care of herself without his help.
Emily, you need to get this guy out of your life. Don't worry too much about hurting his feelings. He has no right to try to impose himself on you, which is what he is doing.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Quote: I personally don't think this guy is going to give up that easily. This guy wants to "rescue" Emily from her sitch and try to make everything wonderful for her. Even IF Emily was divorced and liked this guy's personality, it would still be a bad relationship because it would be starting off on an unequal basis, because this guy doesn't think Emily can take care of herself without his help.
He doesn't want to 'rescue' Emily. he wants to get laid. Emily appears (to him) to be an easy mark.
Sad, unhappy with her marriage, lonely.
This is the same crap my W's OM did. Find someone who seems to be down and weak, and tell her what she want's to hear.
The good part is Emily has US to tell her about 'bad men'.
He's a loser Emily. Trust me. A simlar loser screwed my wife. She feels so much regret for it. I mean, she had to get an STD test and she was MY WIFE. Please don't put yourself in a similar place.
Thanks Guys! I have absolutely NO intention of getting with him nor anyone else.
I am so crushed that my H has really cut all the ties this time. I can't pick myself back up all the way yet. The last thing I need is another man. . . I may never want another one. I mean I REALLY love Kevin . . .despite EVERYTHING. I couldn't imagine feeling that way about anyone else. Nor do I want to.
Well obviously I didn't get to go out this morning. Maybe tomorrow. MAYBE. They had hay down and they had to get it bailed . . . so we had to cancel for today. It's suppose to rain later . . . . I am going stir crazy . . but I don't want to leave the house. . . It's the weirdest feeling ever. My Mom and Dad invited me to go to Wal-Mart with them . . . but given my mothers mood lately . . I think that would be a horrible idea. That and they want to take Felina and have my sister watch Kiya . . I'm worried about leaving her. I know she's OK for now . . But I just think I could lose her and I should spend all the time I can now with her. . . I was worried about going with my friend this morning for peetsake. AYE!!
THIS HAS GOT TO GET BETTER . . . I CAN'T STAND IT.
I think about my H ALL the time. I miss him!!! I think about all the fun things they are doing and I think about how I have no one. I am miserable.
Emily, I had to come clean with my mom about my feelings and asked her for some patience around me for a little while. At the time, I asked her to understand that I won't always be this sensitive and nervous, but that for the moment I couldn't control certain feelings. I asked her to let me get through it and that she just be there to support me for now. I told her that later on, in a few weeks I'd be able to handle confrontation about certain actions but just not right now. Could she hold on to some opinions and feeling for a little while? She completely backed off. She understood completely. You know, this hurts them (our moms) too and sometimes, with their all knowing wisdom , they do and say things in a wrong way, but with very good intentions. They kind of blame themselves for letting this happen too.
Tell her you need some time (just a month or two) and ask for her patience during that time in a very calm tone. She'll get it.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
I did explain to her that I have a lot on my plate what with my H leaving me for OW . . and with the baby being "sick".
She went off about how I treat them like crap and they ALWAYS have my kids and how they ALWAYS have to take me everywhere. (Which I guess they won't be doing anymore.) So I have no way to go get groceries. . . it's that lovely.
I called to ask my H if there was ANYWAY we could speed along the transaction with car . . because I have to way to get around. I got the voicemail . . which OW has done now as saying, "Hi . . you've reached Kevin and Cassie's phone . . leave us a message."
I calmly left a message for my H saying what I needed to say about the car and hung up and BAWLED!! What a day.
My mother is angry at me. I just don't know what to do. I'm so frustraighted. I see no way out of this awful hole. Everything is just falling to [censored] . . one thing right after another. I have to go make a phonecall . . . I'll be back.
I am so stressed! I have that doctors appointment today at 1:30!
I am trying to just not think about everything . . . but everything feels so wrong.
What is it about me? I try to be a good person . . I try to treat people fairly. . . I really do. But I always seem to rub everyone the wrong way. WTH!
I am so frustraighted with myself. I mean I started my life as "damaged goods" with my parents not wanting me. Then my adoptive parents I feel didn't live up to the task of "fixing" things. . . from there it's been a life of people walking out. Now my H has thrown me out like yesterdays garbage. . . What is it about me?
I feel like if I could figure that out I'd be golden . . but as of yet (21 years of soul searching) and I still haven't found my down falling.
Oh Emily, have you ever thought that maybe YOU were not the "damaged goods" when you were born and put up for adoption? Many people do that not because they don't love their baby but precisely because they DO and they know they can't take good care of them like they should. I don't know about the family that adopted you, your family, but I suspect you are simply a product of your environment and would be so even if you were their blood.
All the problems are not all your fault. You have a lot of messed up people in your life. But the only one you can change, is you.
That fact will remain.
YOU are the one that is going to change this vicious cycle of dysfunction before it sucks in your girls.
You can do it.
A lot of people here believe in you.
We know it is going to be hard but we know that it can be done.
Try to make it to your Dr's appointment if at all possible.
I wish I knew. She says that they are worried about me. Strange way of showing it if you asked me. And like I said she said she's tired of doing EVERYTHING for me and getting treated like crap. Sure I've been a little moody . . . but hell . . I think I'm doing a great job given the circumstances. The only reason she feels that way is because we don't see eye to eye about how Felina should be raised (rules and boundry wise) and I call her on it because Felina is MY daughter not hers.
Amy I guess I feel like I am "damaged goods" because my biological mother had three children . . . kept my older sister and my younger sister and got rid of me. She refuses to meet me even still . . and I've never met my younger sister. I've met my grandparents and aunts and uncles and my older sister. We are pretty close . . . could pass for twins even . . LOL!
Anyway . . I've never gotten a straight story about why I was given up . . . probably never will . . but I'm not searching for that as much as I used to be.
I understand that I am the only one who can change . . I can't change everyone else . . I guess I just don't see how I change and benefit the sitch.
It's all crap!! It really stung when I got the voicemail . . probably why they did it. I mean couldn't he leave me for her and not be ignorant and mean about it?
, they do and say things in a wrong way, but with very good intentions. They kind of blame themselves for letting this happen too.