Glad you did a good job listening to her emotions about her brother. I can't tell you how important it is for you to do that and not offer help, or try to fix things. When my brother was killed (I was 18 he was 16) the biggest thing that I did to deal with the grief was vent to friends. It really helped me through a very difficult time. 25 years later I still talk and think of those friends in a very special way. I think that by you doing this you are building a special bond with your wife. Keep this up and the rewards will be enormous.

"Our life is what our thoughts make it." Marcus Aurelius