My opinion on the boob job, going out with friends etc is that GH is making the right choice by not fighting her about it. It sounds like his wife is battling a loss of sense of self, and if your breasts have suffered the ravages of motherhood it really can affect your self-perception. Not as a sexual toy, but as an extension of your womanhood. I can understand wanting this and not because I want men to stare at my chest.
And isolating a woman from her friends because you don't trust her not to cheat on you is a really dangerous idea. In my case, I think it was a sense of isolation that led my H to connect with his OW. Groups of women are not going out seeking attention. We seek to bond with each other. GH is working really hard at being emotionally available to his wife, which is wonderful, but nothing can replace the communication between women. GH can't be everything to her. He can't be her girlfriend.
And for him to be a safe place for her to express these feelings is positive within a marriage.
