There's a very fine line between taking care of and caring for your W. I found in my experience (and this probably has more to do with circumstances in my own sitch than any universal truth) that when I stepped away and "let" my wife take care of herself, she felt abandoned. I think the fact that you are thinking about her personal needs for self improvement and advancement are healthy. You are aware of what she feels she needs to do for herself, and you are thinking about options.
I know that I used the idea that I shouldn't fix my W to step away from her - the fact is that what I want from my relationship is to grow myself alongside my partner. I want her involvement and input in my self development, and I think she wants mine too. Her life is her own, and we shouldn't take on more than is healthy, but not taking ANYTHING on is not healthy either.
Recognize her ability to do for herself; respect her equal right to fail at what she attempts. Respect her ability to decide whether or not she wants to incorporate someone else's advice, and give just that. Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of being the hero with all the knowledge that will help her fix this situation she's in. You're not. But, your perception as her partner can be, and likely is, extremely useful to her. Don't withhold it for fear, but don't push it either.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
