Thank you so much. I would be lying if I said I wasn't still scared that this is all a sham and that things really haven't changed as much as I think they have. I mean my W said that I have NOT changed but I know that's a lie or at least something she said just trying to get a rise out of me. Hell, maybe she believes it's true, but no matter what, I have to make sure I keep up my end of the bargain, which is mainly to curb my p/a behavior and keep working on my self while things are repaired in my marriage.
Last night we still kept talking a bit about the things said the night before, mainly that I wanted W to go out and she wanted to as well. She said that a friend of hers/her sisters suggested that we (the whole family) go to visit SIL in another town and then they can all go out (the girls) there. I think that was my W's way, since she seems almost incapable of just communicating directly, of reassuring me that she would not be with OM or any of "their" friends. It worked. I was tremendously relieved because while I talk a good game, I know my emotions would run high if she were to go out right now in town. I just want a "practice" run to prove to her I can not be a a$$ when she goes out. Remember, I used to act funny/like an a$$hole when she would go out with friends. I was jealous and untrusting without much, if any reason to be. I DID act like her father and I told her two nights ago that I had changed. I want to prove that to her AND me.
The other, lighter and maybe more interesting thing (to me anyway) that happened last night was that we were laying together watching TV on the couch. As I wrapped my arm around her, I paused at her waist. She said "Ohhh, great, grab my love handles!" I laughed and said "No, I didn't grab any handles but I WILL grab something else." and made a motion toward her chest. She pulled back and I laughed. "Would I do that to you?" She laughed and said "YES." I said "HAVE I done that to you any time lately." She didn't answer right away. I said "No, but the REAL question is do you WANT me to?" She laughed and said "Yes, just not right now."
I have no idea how serious she was but the moment was light enough that I kinda think she meant it. There was no pressure for her to say that since we were just playing around.
