Welp, not much happening. W's parents were in town for the weekend so we managed to go out to a movie Saturday night. We left early and walked around Barnes & Nobel for a few minutes and had an ok time. W was tired (we're not used to going out at 10:00 anymore) and was complaining a lot. I didn't validate much, basically telling her "Can't we just TRY to have a good time since we almost never get to do this. I know it's late, and we're tired, I feel the same way, but it's a beautiful night, we're out having a good time, let's be happy." She took it ok, but I could tell she felt attacked a bit. I managed to do a bit of damage control, mentioning later that I was tired too and I wished the movie started earlier. She seemed to appreciate that.
Anyway, we went to see Miami Vice (very good BTW) and there were two sex scenes in the movie that involved a guy in a shower with the woman coming in to initiate sex. The first scene, I leaned over to my W and said "Damn, how come that never happens to me?" She gave me the "smile". Then the next time I said "AH, it must be that 'stressed out, leaning against the back of the shower with your head on your forearms' pose that gets you women all fired up. I have to work on that one." She laughed a bit.
We had fun, but as is always the case with her parents around, there was not going to be anything happening, especially that night.
I got pretty emotional last night for no real reason. She noticed but I managed to stay away from her. I was just allowing myself to feel frustrated and upset over the lack of affection from her. It didn't last long and I managed to pull out of it, remembering that I am in this for the duration and I DO see improvements. I just wish I knew exactly what she was waiting for. To tell me the truth? For OM to be out of her heart (might be a long wait on that one)? For me to DO the right thing in terms of "wooing" her? For me to stop doing the WRONG things? For her to just "feel" something again (another long wait may be in order)? A certain date on the calendar? What? She says she doesn't know but I know she must know more that she lets on.
Anyway, like I have said recently, things other than the lack of sex/intimacy are GREAT. I can't complain a bit about most aspects of our life. It's better across the board than before the affair, but there is still something wrong and I can only hope DB/time will help fix it.
