Nine Months and loosing ground

[MonicaP]

Hi M.W.,

It hurts me to hear what you're going through with your *selfish* W. Yes, she is surely in the throes of her addiction to Om and isn't seeing anything clearly. As a mom myself, I have a hard time believing when I hear about another mom behaving that way toward her child - unfortunately it happens all too often. Sounds like she is so self-absorbed and not seeing her own behavior. What type of mom was she up 'til now? Was spanking the norm?

Is there any chance at appealing to her maternal instinct?

The way I approached my H was to say that - "no matter what happens between us - we are S4's parents forever and we must find a way to work together". I've been very consistent about that - never bringing up our M (outside of recent MC) and in some instances when he has tried to make excuses I simply say "what you do is none of my business except as it relates to S4 and joint finances". His excuses have become laughable yet he continues to feel the need to make something up. Why?

So far my H has been able to meet his responsibilities toward S4 (or at least to the degree I can expect under the circumstances). I have made it clear that he is not to introduce S4 to Ow for at least 6 more months (should be around January now) and he has agreed. I told him that I will have to meet her first before she is in my S4's life. I think my H is so confused internally that he doesn't even want to deal with all that, so I guess I'm "lucky".

In your case, is it feasible for S9 to live with you? If so, I say go for it! It can only be better for your S9. As tempting as it might be to want to F-up Om's fun by having S9 around to hate him it doesn't sound healthy for your S9.

I will pray for your sitch.

I'll keep checking in..