Nine Months and loosing ground

[missingwifey]

Ok guys!!!! I need you more than ever. I have royally screwed up.

W just called to talk with the kids (I've had them all weekend). She finishes talking to them and asks for me. I get on the line. She's asks if I enjoyed "my weekend" with kids and I "giggle" and say "yes, I love being with them and that we have had fun all weekend". Then she asked "why I giggled?" I reply "that I found it kinda of funny "my weekend" and I said I have had them most of the month and this weekend was no different than the last several weekends. She gets furious!!! Say's I'm exagerating and that she is going to haul me into court and get the kids schedule etched in stone.....hangs up. I call her back and state the facts (I know I shouldn't have but I did) That she has been with them a total 4 days out of the last 38 and why was she angry? She calls back after getting my message and tells me that she doesn't want to be with me and that she wants to cut off all contact w/ me and hangs up. A few minutes later, I call her and leave her a message stating "that in order to communicate could she please not call me when she's angry and once she has said what she has to say give me the respect of letting me answer her. I know I made a mistake defending my position and if she would allow me to agree with her she would calm down. She calls me back again. And says " I'm pregant and its yours!!! ! I say how can that be? We have only been together once about a month ago it must be your boyfriend's...surely you have had sex with him many times since we were together? She tells me what basically the OM has some sort of ED and really isn't capable of making her pregnant. I say "I would love to keep the baby but I know that isn't what you want" (we have talked about having another since before our split, during and up to three weeks ago). She says she's going to have an abortion.I drop it right there. I then tell her "I just want her to happy. I love her enough to let her go, I have let her go and whether it is with me or w/out me I will support her decision. That all I want is to be happy as well. I then reminded her that the biggest problem that she voiced in our marriage was that I never could make time for her or the kids. Now the kids are my top priority (she certainly knows this though my actions over the last 7 months) That we used to argue like cats and dogs and that we no longer yell at each other because I won't allow myself to. I wish she could see things the way the are and not the way they used to be. I then said "Love is a decision". We were in Love once and if you choose to you can make the decision to be in Love again...its your choice. She just stayed silent and saids she had to put out some signs for an open house. She will be here to pick up the kids in a couple of hours. I know I have screw'd up badly. Please help stop screwing up!!!! I have know Idea what to do or say from here.