My Sitch:

M 11 yrs (12 yr Anniv.Sept 23rd)
Me 40
W 33
S 9
D 5
Bomb dropped 12/24
D/filed 1/29

Hi Gang! I know I look like a newbie, but I have been reading this board everyday (4 hours a day on average)since last December. Here's the short version:

Found receipt for Hotel January 3rd. Wife dropped our kids off at IL's and spent X-mas eve with another man.
Confronted her and she informed me I was history. "ILYBIANILWY" I Did all the wrong things; pleaded, letters, pursued... all the usual mistakes. Found DB read DR and have trying to find solutions ever since. The OM has big bucks and is in the middle of being divorced. He had a 3 year Affair before he got his claws into my W. W still considers me her best friend; until rescently we were really friendly and ML about once a month.

Since W and OM have gotten together, W has gone from spending 90% of her free time w/ D5 and S9 to 3% of the time..and they live with her. When we were together I worked ridiculous hours (100 a week)at the restaurant I own. No time for anyone. This of course is in part why I am here.
Wife works with other man in Real Estate (they are partners now). OM is in my former bed every night but hasn't been allowed to move in permanently (he wants she doesn't). I quit working about a month ago and moved in with my parents. I gave W everything and took only my clothes. We did the D papers ourselves and the D could have been over last week but W has to file a couple of documents and hasn't bothered. I am trying to GAL and do my best not to pursue. I don't initiate calls but I do return them. I try to keep a PMA and spend almost everyday with the kids because W's nanny quit. Kids and I have a great relationship now. I believe wife is in MLC. She is the opposite of everything I knew her to be. Now she's angry, completely selfish, spends money like no tomorrow and appears to be addicted to OM. Several times throughout the last 9 months W indicated that she "might" want to work it out down the road. We have even talked about having another baby? In every instance that she has given me hope, within a couple of days she recants or even tells me "she never said that" W about two weeks ago brought up a problem from our past and talked at length w/ me about it. I validated and apologized. It was a big deal for me. It was the first time in 9 months she talked about our past...other than to tell me what a jerk I was.
W has told me several times rescently that "she is done with me for good". I am desparately trying to hang in there but what I thought was progess in the past seems to erased right now. I don't know what to do.

M 11 yrs (12 yr Anniv.Sept 23rd) Me 40 W 33 S 9 D 5 Bomb dropped 12/24 D/filed 1/29