Quote: A big part of me wants to just say... "go do what you have to do. if and when you fix yourself, then maybe i'll be here.". But the other part of me doesn't want to be the one to call it quits. I'm afraid i'll regret it. Any advice at this point? I really want to save my M.
My first advice is that the first part of this quote, where you consider telling him to do what he has to do, etc, is really what is advocated by a lot of people, and in some ways, DB/DR. You can't MAKE him stop this affair and by trying to hold onto him, you may just make him flee faster/harder to her.
So, what you are thinking about, i.e. letting go, is NOT the same as being the one to "give up." You are merely respecting his wishes, respecting YOUR wishes to be happy and in the end, understanding that you can't force things to be how you want so you're going to let go of that idea in favor of turning more inward and making your OWN decisions, which MAY include "giving up" but for now, simply include getting happy with yourself.
I am not saying you need to do this thing, just that you should understand that to a certain extent, whether verbalized to him or not, you will have to let go at some point so that when he returns, it will be because he actually left and decided to come back, not because you never let go.
You just need to focus on your happiness and leave his up to him.
