Sorry there seems to be some confusion. EX-H has the borderline and bipolar. And yes, it is extremely common for it not to really manifest until late teens/early twenties and in the presence of a stressor (in this case med school). Mental illness signs may have been there in the early teens but were able to be controlled. It is unusual to diagnose a severe d/o like that in a child. In fact, a child will get a diagnosis like conduct disorder or impulse control and will often later get a more severe diagnosis. Some people show no evidence of diisorder until young adulthood. Ex-H and I met in college and married upon graduation. Does that help.
With the story about ex-H I was trying to illustrate how our M didn't end because of a simple lack of sooting one another. However, the trauma that occured to me in that M definately weighs in to how vulnerable I make myself now.
Current H does not have any diagnosable mental health condition although he is prone to mild/moderate depression under certain condtions like someone's death. He is the person who experienced the suicides of his father and brother when he was in his 30's. Obviously, depression runs biochemically in his family.
With current H I was attempting to illustrate that sex has always been an issue but just less of one early on. Early on I wasn't getting nearly what I wanted. The death of his friend changed everything for better than a year. Then, it slowly got better but never to the level it was (which was still low level for me).
However, you made a good point that my anxiety probably exacerbates his.
Heather,
Yes. It is heartbreaking and I have wanted to approach the question but every time I start to it sticks in my throat. I mean literally sticks. I fear that the day I blurt it out it will come out as an accusation, come out angry, come out wrong. My sadness about this is profound. it makes me not want to try.
