He pretended like he didn't hear me. laid with his arms down by his side. I have never asked again
Karen, this broke my heart. But can you be sure he really DID hear you? Maybe he didn't? It seems like something that's caused a lot of hurt, or to use your own word, shame. Maybe you could try to address it so you can at least understand what his issues are with it? Keep it an arm's length discussion if it makes you more comfortable, ie. not about you just about the act in general.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
