Cobra and karen-- yes, you've identified the crux of the matter: for those LD spouses who have not simply lost interest in sex all together (which I believe Lou's BB has)--
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The eternal mystery is not why is my spouse LD but why is my spouse LD with me?

If we knew the definitive answer to that AND knew the cure for it, we could give seminars, do infomercials, and make a fortune. (Maybe even run a bulletin board.)

Karen wrote
Quote:

My theory is that something in the R dynamic causes the LD person to submerge their sexuality and a new R works differently thereby removing that roadblock (temporarily or permanently).

Whatever that something is appears to be unknowable. It involves a willingness to let down walls, admit another person into the inner sanctum of one's heart and soul-- at least that's the way a 4 looks at it. I guess Mojo would say it involves a willingness to have jolly fun in bed.