I'm beginning to think that none of us has a clue as to what makes someone want to fcuk us. I'm not talking about what our partner finds attractive, why our partner was attracted to us, or even what turns our partner on. I'm talking about what makes them reach out physically and make it happen.

I believe it is somewhat related to how clean the house is, how well you cook, your upbeat/deep/sensitive personality, or even your well-plucked eyebrows. But most of us who are with LD people KNOW that they love us, find us mostly attractive, and may even be turned on by us from time to time. It doesn't appear to us to be US they don't want... it's SEX they don't want.



Cobra, I wasn't saying that YOU were saying AOS should be enough for me. I mean that my BF thinks AOS should be enough for me. And I've asked and asked for what I want... over and over again. I'm just tired of doing it. My God, we've been to four therapists together, and I've been to SIX on my own since I met him. I've read a gazillion books... and right now I'm just worn out. At its best, this R will not ever be what I want. I'm not talking about perfection... I mean that he will NEVER be the lover I want. In most ways, he is the COMPANION I want-- we do get along and our life together is 98% good. But given his past and his fears and his ED-- it just ain't gonna happen. Even if he got to where he liked and wanted sex, he will never be that good at it. This is being realistic on my part. It isn't about loving me-- I know he loves me. He just can't take direction from me enough to learn to please me sexually, and he doesn't know enough technique on his own. Sorry... I'm sliding down into one of those abyss places....