Oh Lil, I am extremely aware of the positives and that is what reminds me that I really am in this for life. I love him and I know he loves me (big positive), we get along very well, have fun with each other, raise our children well together, and are compatible over money and values issues.
The thing that happens when I approach the abyss is that part of me waits for the day when he says that he has found someone who is his soul mate, who deeply understands him and who resonates for him. Then I can actually picture myself thinking, "Well of course, because you never knew who I was in the first place." Wouldn't that be sad? I almost feel as though it wouldn't even suprise me given that I sometimes feel like a character on a kid's show or family sitcom where I am the character named "Mom" - nobody ever wants to know who Mom really is nor cares about her deepest thoughts nor even suspects the dark/sexual/spiritual being that she is in her deepest soul. Is it Marianne Williamson who says that most people aren't afraid of failure but that they are powerful beyond measure? I think most of us are also afraid of that very thing about others.
