No - I don't think he worries about the providing any more than he usually does whether I am pregnant or not. He always worries to some extent but he always says - "God will provide."
I think he worried more that we weren't going to get pregnant due to our age and some of our recent fertility issues. I also think he worried about it in general because he has always wanted a large family. If we weren't able to have a baby, he would wind up going out and finding two or three more foster mouths to feed.
I think when I am pregnant he is more able to see/feel me as a woman instead of life partner, helpmate, co-parent and all that glamorous stuff. He really loves the extra curves (fat). I think he feels I'm more womanly and that makes him feel more manly or something like that.
It really is all speculation but I am enjoying things.
Just checking in. Well I am now in my second trimester (almost 15 weeks, it certainly goes fast) and this pregnancy has been smooth sailing on the physical end but not the medical end. I am seeing an endocrinologist due to a high thyroid stimulating hormone reading on my prenatal bloodwork. They haven't put me on meds but are watching the bloodwork every four weeks. My fancy Level II ultrsound was very good but the combo of that plus age plus other bloodowork resulted in a high-risk of Down's syndrome (1 in 80). There is a 98% chance that everything is ok but if there is a problem I want to know so I will go for an amnio on Nov 6, followed by another fancy ultrasound on Nov 20. In my heart I feel that everything will be ok - the baby looked great on ultrasound, the perinatologist said that he didn't see anything that would cause concern, baby was moving all over and I've already felt some early movement. H has been terrific and very comforting but not in a patronizing way (I hate to be patronized).
H has really stepped up in the gestures department. We had a lovely vacation and when we got back he had an immediate four day business trip. I received flowers at the office two days into the trip with a note saying how much he would miss me. We have only had sex once a week on the average, twice on vacation but he has been much more erotic than he usually is. He has initiated each time. I have had relatively low libido because of being tired with the pregnancy but that keeps me happier with the low frequency so it's all good.
The first weekend of November I am going to see my best friend in Florida (a trip H inisted I take) where we shall bask in all things girly - St. Augustine, a trip to the spa, outlet shopping (not a lot, neither of us are big shoppers), leisurely lunches with salads and iced tea at frou frou cafes and things like that. I can't wait!
I feel much more positive about my marriage in general and altogether less "grasping" for something that I wanted that seemed always out of my reach. I know that I will probably get discontented again with the amount or less than experimental nature of our SL but maybe that is just me - maybe I am just a "seeker" - I always seek to improve myself, question everything, want to learn more, get better at things etc...and maybe I carry that over to my R and my SL in both healthy and unhealthy ways. The unhealthy ways create resistance in H and the feedback loop just isn't good.
Hi Karen...so nice to read that update! It's great that H is being nurturing and supportive...remember to pamper yourself! When is BabyK due? ( Too lazy to do the math work, lol). xoxo
Looking like 4/20 give or take. My teenagers gave a little guffaw at the number (apparently, 4:20 is when everyone everywhere is supposed to "toke up" - for those of you who need some "teen speak" brushups). I will be so pleased when somewhere near the end of next month I will know the results of all these blasted tests!
I haven't really been posting but I have been reading up on everyone's sitch. So many new folks too. Just keeping up with the reading is a lot. I laughed when one of the moderators chastised someone for all the navel gazing that goes on here. For all the navel gazing I think people really have gone to a great deal of effort to try things - some with good results or sometimes not.
I am currently in a big funk. To my everlasting delight we found that we are having a little boy and his preliminary amnio results are fine. That only leaves a few of the weirder things that they are looking at. I'm no longer worried about that. My endocrinology office is terrible at communicating - they keep sending me for blood tests and won't discuss results over the phone. It is maddening. Finally, I wrote her an ugly gram about her office communication. I don't even know my official working diagnosis: could be a pregnancy related hyperthyroidism OR it could be Graves disease (auto-immune d/o). I would need to know the lab results to know what she is tending toward. Of course, I also asked about dietary changes and all and she said there was nothing I could do. Since that appointment I have done some reading and there is a lot I can do. I am considering seeing a naturopath for some alternative medical advice.
As for H - he has weathered all the preggo worries pretty well, he has been supportive and all that good husbandly stuff. We haven't ML since we went on vacation. My birthday is tomorrow and I am feeling increasingly hysterical over the situation. I consider birthday nookie to be akin to birthday cake - de rigeur. However, I am battling also with the mindset that I don't want the proverbial "milk bone" thrown my way.
H would see it this way - I have been worried, I fall asleep on the couch around 9:30 or 10:00 every night and he doesn't go to bed until 12:00 or 1:00. He has been workign a lot.... Blah. Blah. Blah. I could just scream!
Happy Birthday Karen!!! I know I have been on the board here too much, because when I read it was your birthday, I remembered you were a Scorpio, and I don't even believe in or follow horoscopes!
I hope the dr figures out the thyroid diagnosis and clues you in...that would be nice, huh? I remember when I was on the pill my TFT's would be off because of the hormones ( which was normal)...maybe the same thing can occur in pregnancy?
Anyway, have a great b-day and congrats on your son!
I've been reading up on magnesium deficiency google it). It can mimic thyroid problems and also manifest as depression, migraines, and a variety of things. I've been taking a powdered magnesium supplement that you mix with hot water and drink like tea, and I've seen a distinct improvement in my internal mental state. The stuff is called "Natural Calm" made by Peter Gillham's Natural Vitality." It's magnesium citrate, which is easily absorbed by the body. Got it at Whole Foods. They also have a formula for moms and babies.
Happy Birthday Karen and Congratulations on the baby news!
Quote: My birthday is tomorrow and I am feeling increasingly hysterical over the situation. I consider birthday nookie to be akin to birthday cake - de rigeur. However, I am battling also with the mindset that I don't want the proverbial "milk bone" thrown my way.
I think that you need to take a trip into bizarro world (where everything is reversed)in order to better enjoy your birthday. Pretend that your H is maniacally HD and you are just hoping that he will give you a rest from the endless f*ckfest for your Bday. For instance, if he sends you some flowers at work think to yourself "He didn't send me those flowers because he loves me and it's my birthday. He sent them because he's hoping I'll be in a good enough mood to have sex since it's my birthday. He has no consideration for the fact that I am tired and pregnant and would appreciate getting some rest.". If you take on this persona and act in accordance with this bizarro mindset, you may not get laid but at least you will be greatly amused by your H's reaction of complete confusion because you will sort of be like B'rer Rabbit saying "Oh Please, Oh Please don't throw me down in that bramble thicket.".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
