Re Cac4 Seriously, even the insurance company initially refused to pay for my hosptialization
The last time I had a big blow out was in 1986 and I was tired of the Worker's Comp system so I went with my private insurance company.

Well, private insurance said it was work related, worker's comp said it wasn't, it was an old injury flare up from the surgery, so I had to get an attorney to settle who was covering the 1986 problems.

Three months later, several mini inquiries, a deposition, the new worker's comp company was paying the bills. I learned if you have an insurance policy, you are covered. If you are covered by two policies, you have to fight to get benefits. It's the other's guys problem from the insurance companies POV.

During this 3 month of being in limbo and worrying about paying for things on my own, I changed from Mr. Nice Guy to Mr. Hard Ball as far as what I was willing to do for future employment, I certainly wasn't going back to what aggravated my old injuries, and what type of treatments I was willing to undergo.

The insurance company countered my insistence on what I thought was good for me by having me go through a week of interviews and tests. I had to see 2 neurologist, 2 back surgery docs, a psychologist a couple of times, a couple of Vocational rehabilitation case managers and one rehab director. This was after I was going to physical therapy 3X a week for 4 months. There could have been a few people I left out but You get the picture.

"lazy" stigma"
My biggest frustration aside from the pain and discomfort, was getting across to all of the evaluators how much working mean to me and how I was so unhappy not being able to work as a mechanic. Some of the evaluators were asking me what I got out of being in the "sick" role, which was nothing for me. At one point I said "Sure, its just peachy having my income reduced by 50% and feeling like crap all of the time." Oh well, that was another time.

Even 20 years later I miss working on cars. I did transfer some of my skills to the printer repair business I have had for 12 years. I also learned I am more than what I do. Boy, that was a tough one. That is information to some women in general, that wonder why some men seem to take work more important than the M.

I am not saying I was right and in fact now think I had work too high on my list of priorities. In some ways the back problems made me look at my self and my family as being more important than what I did or how much I earned.

Re Bear
I would try to do the grocery shopping and skip stuff that was too high or too low on the shelf for me to reach. I had to support myself with the cart and even then, I could only take a few steps at a time and then I'd have to squat down (this would stretch my back a little and make it bearable for a few more steps
Me too, me too, at one time. I still do a few of these things a couple of times a year. Other times, moving a 75# TV or printer by myself is no problem.

I had my XH yelling at me about how horrible it was for him to be married to a "crippled" person
In general BB has always been supportive. The down side of this, when I had my problems and surgery in 1981, that is when BB lost her sexual feelings for me and I see signs that she lost a lot of her feelings of security and lost some of those what I call prince charming magic, he's so strong, he (Lou) is my hero feelings too.

It's also when BB started to be more independent and when I had the second go-around with back problems in 1986, and she had to go to work, I noticed a big difference in our R.

One thing I am not writing is "my XW" so I suppose BB is better, more adaptive, or what ever than your XH in many ways.

I kept steady doses of Advil and ice going....
Yes, that works. I also feel better if I use heat before I do my stretching exercises.

Re cinemanymph nothing to do but wait it out
Sometimes that is the best RX, that and trying not to borrow trouble, take some Advil, do the exercises or at least the easy ones.

RE cac4 I don't believe there is a "the surgery". each case is unique
That is my observation/opinion too.

the big obstacles are the fact that its hard to get at these parts, without damaging other parts
I find this as much of a problem as the original problem, the damage done getting to the bulging/offending disk.

maybe one day they'll be able to shoot us up to the space station for a couple of weeks...have the surgery up there, heal, then come back.
WOW, now that is an idea.

Maybe I could get a fund going, I think the rate is 20 million just for a few days at the space station and add a surgery team so maybe I should shoot for raising 100 million.

Just having some fun cac4 and not making fun of you. I think that is some good thinking BTW. Too bad it is so expensive to become weightless, and not even talking about the possibility of all of the launch and re-entry problems. Maybe some day though?????

I don't know what to say about Burgbud's posts.

I didn't see anything offensive in Lil's posts and I read John Stosney web site. I am not going to take everything he says as the Gospel and think everyone else is wrong.

For me, stress/anxiety/conflict plays a "part" in many types of pain. BTDT, I used to have lots of headaches but quit worrying about some of the things that were related to headaches.

I am going to read the John Stosney books and see how much I can use from the books.

Back to SSM issues. No sex for a month so it's past due in my books. I cooked the 3 meals, went to a dermatology appt. BB had. She likes me to drive downtown, and did the usual foot rub while watching TV.

It happened, but I can see it was not something that BB was comfortable with physically and it was just barely passable for me.

I don't know where we are headed sexually, but I am losing interest in sex and don't see many things improving. At some point, having a sexual relationship that works for both people maybe something that isn't going to happen.

I am not quitting but am going to continue to mostly coast. That is what I have been feeling for several weeks and my opinion may change.

Lou