Back in my waitressing days, I used to get muscle spasms between my shoulder blades. It was excruciating and the pain would make me cry. It was like having a broken bone that will never set and heal. There was no position, no amount of painkillers (unless they knocked me out) nothing to do but wait it out. Sometime they would take days to go away. I can't imagine being in that kind of pain indefinetly. People who live and do their best to function with this kind of pain are admirable.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
Quote: That's a very manipulative way of phrasing it. Either he's curious, which is what you want, or he's close minded.
Well, duh! Of course it's manipulative! I don't care what people believe about Sarno or anything else, but I really want people to be familiar with all sides of a thing from original sources before they make up their minds.
Observing someone deciding to agree or not with something based on sketchy, ill-informed hearsay (even mine) makes me nuts.
And I'm NOT above poking a few hot buttons to get 'er done! Manipulation... aggravation... exaggeration... I use 'em all! Thanks for noticing.
...but I really want people to be familiar with all sides of a thing from original sources before they make up their minds.
Other peoples' actions aren't bound to what you want.
Observing someone deciding to agree or not with something based on sketchy, ill-informed hearsay (even mine) makes me nuts.
He's not responsible for you feeling nuts and your disrespect is more damaging to you than helpful to him.
And I'm NOT above poking a few hot buttons to get 'er done! Manipulation... aggravation... exaggeration... I use 'em all!
You'll have more success with direct communication. You'll find your peace and happiness zone more often if you maintain respect for others. Indulging in manipulation and control will not soothe your jangled emotions for long. Learning to walk away from someone who doesn't want to be fixed rather than lowering yourself in an attempt to make their life better will improve your life.
Why are other people yours to manipulate?
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
I guess I was unsuccessful in communicating a playful tone-- Dang, I hate it when that happens!
NO ONE can be manipulated by anyone else. I know you know this. But to answer your question directly: yes, I am free to to TRY to manipulate anyone I want to. They are free to submit, resist, manipulate me in return, and/or to tell me to go to he11.
Burg ... I mean you no harm. Why are you so annoyed at me? Your annoyance seems disproportionate to the issue.
NO ONE can be offended or angered by anyone else, either.
...yes, I am free to to TRY to manipulate anyone I want to. They are free to submit, resist, manipulate me in return, and/or to tell me to go to he11.
By that logic, you (and everyone else) should also be free to TRY to offend and anger anyone you want to. Yet you have counselled people on this board, and I'm thinking specifically of Cobra, against that behavior.
Why are you so annoyed at me? Your annoyance seems disproportionate to the issue.
I assure you I'm not annoyed in the least. You seem like an interesting person to discuss this with.
The bottom line is that while of course you're free to act in any manner you choose, your methods are often at cross purpose to your stated objective.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
trust me, I am neither. And I'm also not "angry" at you, and your "poor reporting job" isn't important. Its the "take home points"...the impression with which these people left you. "bulging disks are bogus". I'm sure he didn't use those exact words, but that was the message. "can't see any difference with imaging". just plain wrong. I've seen it. doc showed me "..this is a normal spine...this is yours". didn't even have to point to the problem; it was obvious to the most casual observer. and now, the wrong messages get re-broadcast, and thats all I'm trying to counter. Then along with this message is the underlying "its all in your head"..."not/less than legtimate"..."just get over it and it'll go away". that's what makes people who've experienced it so angry. These people who imparted this message to you are guilty of something. they either did an extremely poor job of communicating, or they're completely full of crap, or both.
As far as "the surgery" goes...well, thats another bad message. I don't believe there is a "the surgery". each case is unique. I'm not an expert on it, but I imagine that the big obstacles are the fact that its hard to get at these parts, without damaging other parts, and these parts never get a break from doing their job, because of gravity, so they don't heal well, and now you've got inflamation/irritation/spasm/repeat on another part instead of the original part, with the same result. maybe one day they'll be able to shoot us up to the space station for a couple of weeks...have the surgery up there, heal, then come back.
but anyway, surgery isn't always the right option. In my dad's case, it kind of fixed itself. he's got the same problem, but he's 30 years ahead of me in the process. The disc basically disolved by itself, and calcification fused the vertebrae. The docs predicted this. those were his options a few years ago from the docs: surger to "try" to fix...no guarantees...or "wait".
If there is one thing that I want everyone to take away (and I'm positive about this part):
Sarno DOES NOT say this
Quote: Then along with this message is the underlying "its all in your head"..."not/less than legtimate"..."just get over it and it'll go away". that's what makes people who've experienced it so angry.
NOTNOTNOTNOT. He does not say it's all in your head and you should get over it. If you would read his material instead of taking my word for it, you would see this.
My only message is: read the stuff for yourself. Or not.
Re Cac4 Seriously, even the insurance company initially refused to pay for my hosptialization The last time I had a big blow out was in 1986 and I was tired of the Worker's Comp system so I went with my private insurance company.
Well, private insurance said it was work related, worker's comp said it wasn't, it was an old injury flare up from the surgery, so I had to get an attorney to settle who was covering the 1986 problems.
Three months later, several mini inquiries, a deposition, the new worker's comp company was paying the bills. I learned if you have an insurance policy, you are covered. If you are covered by two policies, you have to fight to get benefits. It's the other's guys problem from the insurance companies POV.
During this 3 month of being in limbo and worrying about paying for things on my own, I changed from Mr. Nice Guy to Mr. Hard Ball as far as what I was willing to do for future employment, I certainly wasn't going back to what aggravated my old injuries, and what type of treatments I was willing to undergo.
The insurance company countered my insistence on what I thought was good for me by having me go through a week of interviews and tests. I had to see 2 neurologist, 2 back surgery docs, a psychologist a couple of times, a couple of Vocational rehabilitation case managers and one rehab director. This was after I was going to physical therapy 3X a week for 4 months. There could have been a few people I left out but You get the picture.
"lazy" stigma" My biggest frustration aside from the pain and discomfort, was getting across to all of the evaluators how much working mean to me and how I was so unhappy not being able to work as a mechanic. Some of the evaluators were asking me what I got out of being in the "sick" role, which was nothing for me. At one point I said "Sure, its just peachy having my income reduced by 50% and feeling like crap all of the time." Oh well, that was another time.
Even 20 years later I miss working on cars. I did transfer some of my skills to the printer repair business I have had for 12 years. I also learned I am more than what I do. Boy, that was a tough one. That is information to some women in general, that wonder why some men seem to take work more important than the M.
I am not saying I was right and in fact now think I had work too high on my list of priorities. In some ways the back problems made me look at my self and my family as being more important than what I did or how much I earned.
Re Bear I would try to do the grocery shopping and skip stuff that was too high or too low on the shelf for me to reach. I had to support myself with the cart and even then, I could only take a few steps at a time and then I'd have to squat down (this would stretch my back a little and make it bearable for a few more steps Me too, me too, at one time. I still do a few of these things a couple of times a year. Other times, moving a 75# TV or printer by myself is no problem.
I had my XH yelling at me about how horrible it was for him to be married to a "crippled" person In general BB has always been supportive. The down side of this, when I had my problems and surgery in 1981, that is when BB lost her sexual feelings for me and I see signs that she lost a lot of her feelings of security and lost some of those what I call prince charming magic, he's so strong, he (Lou) is my hero feelings too.
It's also when BB started to be more independent and when I had the second go-around with back problems in 1986, and she had to go to work, I noticed a big difference in our R.
One thing I am not writing is "my XW" so I suppose BB is better, more adaptive, or what ever than your XH in many ways.
I kept steady doses of Advil and ice going.... Yes, that works. I also feel better if I use heat before I do my stretching exercises.
Re cinemanymph nothing to do but wait it out Sometimes that is the best RX, that and trying not to borrow trouble, take some Advil, do the exercises or at least the easy ones.
RE cac4 I don't believe there is a "the surgery". each case is unique That is my observation/opinion too.
the big obstacles are the fact that its hard to get at these parts, without damaging other parts I find this as much of a problem as the original problem, the damage done getting to the bulging/offending disk.
maybe one day they'll be able to shoot us up to the space station for a couple of weeks...have the surgery up there, heal, then come back. WOW, now that is an idea.
Maybe I could get a fund going, I think the rate is 20 million just for a few days at the space station and add a surgery team so maybe I should shoot for raising 100 million.
Just having some fun cac4 and not making fun of you. I think that is some good thinking BTW. Too bad it is so expensive to become weightless, and not even talking about the possibility of all of the launch and re-entry problems. Maybe some day though?????
I don't know what to say about Burgbud's posts.
I didn't see anything offensive in Lil's posts and I read John Stosney web site. I am not going to take everything he says as the Gospel and think everyone else is wrong.
For me, stress/anxiety/conflict plays a "part" in many types of pain. BTDT, I used to have lots of headaches but quit worrying about some of the things that were related to headaches.
I am going to read the John Stosney books and see how much I can use from the books.
Back to SSM issues. No sex for a month so it's past due in my books. I cooked the 3 meals, went to a dermatology appt. BB had. She likes me to drive downtown, and did the usual foot rub while watching TV.
It happened, but I can see it was not something that BB was comfortable with physically and it was just barely passable for me.
I don't know where we are headed sexually, but I am losing interest in sex and don't see many things improving. At some point, having a sexual relationship that works for both people maybe something that isn't going to happen.
I am not quitting but am going to continue to mostly coast. That is what I have been feeling for several weeks and my opinion may change.
Quote: Maybe I could get a fund going, I think the rate is 20 million just for a few days at the space station and add a surgery team so maybe I should shoot for raising 100 million.
and you thought health insurance was expensive NOW... actually, there could be another host of problems caused by the weightlessness, but I bet those would be temporary. when you don't even have to hold yourself up, the muscles deteriorate rapidly. but anyway...
I did check out the website, and to be honest, it looks to me like any other snake-oil sales website. "solve all your problems for the low low price of $89.95! its that easy!" (or should I say "E-Z"). you know, I think thats part of the "angry" type reaction to this sort of thing. nothing that hurts this much could be so "E-Z" to solve. the suggestion that it is, implies that what you got, ain't so bad.
Quote: Back to SSM issues...
oh, yeah, I forgot. we're supposed to be talking about sex...or a lack thereof. sex makes my back hurt, so I'm better off without it. -Chuck
