I removed the bedroom air conditioner and put it in storage. It never got used because BB wanted the bedroom window to be open.
I said I was coasting in my last post. Not exactly correct as things have been going down hill. I am sleeping in the spare bedroom part of the nights. I just have too much resentment for what is and is not happening in our R. I try to sleep in the same bed but can't sometimes. Been doing the my side of the bed edge hugging but that gets tiring so I move to the other room.
I suppose I am shooting myself in the foot by emotionally withdrawing but am feeling like what ever is going to happen, will happen. All I can do is speed it up or slow it down a little. Who knows, a persons perception is not always reality. We did have a few discussions that led no where. I don't know if expressing my feelings honestly did any good.
I had a few days of severe back trouble but am fine now. This usually triggers BB in to sell everything and buy a "Patio Home" where you have to have a maintenance agreement / co-op for all of the repairs and someone mows the lawn, shovels the snow, and takes care of the outside of the building for a monthly fee. BB wants things tidied up in case I die? I feel I am just here for her benefit sometimes.
I know I have too much stuff and have been throwing things away, recycling some things, and selling some of my better pieces. I junked out 10 big printers and returned 60 toner cartridges to a recycling center.
BB's comments? Nothing got done. It looks the same to her. She wants to see clear space not a lower stack of items. None of my stuff is in the main living floor/area.
I tried to compare what BB complained about when her mother said she could do something better and how disappointed BB felt with what BB usually says to me. (10 printers and 60 cartridges gone) Well, BB rejected the idea that her comment "nothing got done" was not comparable to her mothers putdowns of she could have done a little better if she worked a little harder.
Me? my self-esteem is OK. The R is up in the air.
Enough of my gloom. Wish I had better news. I guess men are pigs, ony want a W for sex, and want to control women.
