Quote: This is what I refer to as relationship overhead, things I have to ignore or not let them effect me so much or find more ways to self sooth.
I guess the point I've been trying to make all along is that every relationship has these things. You might imagine that if you were married to a different sort of woman, you wouldn't be bugged about that woman's behavior. But as observant and sensitive as you are, sooner or later you would be driven nuts by your partner's behavior. It's just a question of what kind of nuttiness can you live with.
Don't get me wrong. I agree that BB's behavior is very annoying... but what if you were married to a woman who had to talk to her mother five times every day on the phone, or who wore tons of makeup, or who HATED dogs and wouldn't let one near her. I'm also not trying to paste a happy face on your sitch, just to point out that being bugged or not begins with YOU. This is something YOU control, and you do not control it by trying in vain to control your partner's behavior.
I still didn't hear any love in your description of BB.
Name for me one quality that SHE has (not how she relates to you when she's in the right mood) that you find truly, unequivocally lovable. Not stuff like "we get along," but something about HER that you respect and admire.
