Your challenge is to keep your mood on an even keel no matter whether she is nice to you or cranky. It doesn't sound like she's actively mean to you... just cranky or resistant.
You have total control over how you react to her. This is your work. This is your mission, your task-- to resist letting her crankiness interfere with your happiness. You can do this. Spiritual Boot Camp.
Quote: one of her friends is not too busy for her to call and visit on the phone for 15 minuets.
Why are you suggesting that she call her friends? This is kind of micromanaging, isn't it?
I think your Identity System has a picture of what you think "should" be in a relationship: shared values, moods in harmony with each other, you give each other suggestions about what to do and they are received and followed graciously, etc.
That's not the marriage you're in. I suggest to continue trying to shove the square peg of your marriage into that round hole is only setting yourself up for frustration.
I suggest you live in the marriage you DO have: a woman who's picky, sedentary, not particularly well-read, loves animals, slow-moving, appreciative sometimes but grudgingly, loves physical contact with you (foot/back rubs) as long as it's not usually sexual... THAT'S who you're married to.
I asked you this before, too... is there anything about her that is TRULY lovable to you? Or are you so focused on the things about her that bug you that you can't find anything to love?
