Posting a reply from my handheld is not easy! Loss of connection, clipboard size limits...
Anyway, to continue my thoughts, Lou, remember the Schnarch Dateline show? Your actions remind me of the interracial wife, trying to rescue her H. The only way he could grow was for her to stop rescuing, which was hard because that is where she had her sense of connection and soothing.
The question I think you need to ask yourslef is whether you have the strength to simply stand by while BB wrestlesvwith her insecurities. I know this hard since you feel her pain too closely, but rescuing her is really rescuing yourself. Can you see how that is playing out?
So do you have the strength to hold on to yourself and stop the enmeshment, the need to self sooth by rescue, the ability to endure her pain and yours as you both grow?
