I'm still trying to keep up with the threads while having some break time with the kids here in Hawaii (we're having a great time!)
Listen to Lil and Gel, they're telling what I tried to say - you're practicing a subverssive form of control, while denying you're doing it and rationalizing it by helping (rescuing) others. Nothing wrong with that if they want the rescuing, but BB is obviously so VERY insecure and low confidence she takes anything that is not a boost to her ego as an attack to her ego.
Picking one church and sticking with it will give her the alpha male security she needs to gain some confidence. You make the friends, then introduce them to her. When she comes up with objections, call her out directly by not even addressing her particular complaints, but her use of another deflection to put someone down to protect her poor self esteem.
