Re GEL it comes across as nit-picking. I hear that GEL/Lil. <processing to determine some changes>
I suppose I should do less verbal feed back. I don't do much of that now
I can guarantee you my Dad believes he's helping, OK, I do the same thing for about the same reason as you stated, helping. I don't feel BB's way is unnecessarily wrong but she gets hard line and I generally put out an alternative, but similar opinion.
from our perspectives...he's just showing us that we are doing it wrong because it's not done his way Maybe I don't see BB doing much of anything or when she does some things, it seems mostly emotional, the easy way, and I don't understand her not considering more than a narrow way of looking at things. <that is information and not a rebuttal>
If BB can go to church by herself She is already talking about not going unless I go.
You have the option of finding a church YOU like and sticking with it Yes I could. With all of the going here and there, differences of opinions, some educational programs, I guess the big thing for me now is I don't feel much connection to a spiritual life or what I know as worship. So going to "church" for spiritual/devotional reasons is not what I am looking for. The more I learn about religion, spirituality, the less I am comfortable with parts of it.
Re Lil I see now that probably I whacked you harder than I needed to, No, don't worry about any of the wackes. My point to M was fickle friends are polite, true friends wack you when you need it.
My late H and I really had no "couple" friends and we did no activities with other couples I took the couples activities was the norm. It was in my FOO and school friends, but I don't live around my FOO.
because all the people I know love to read, listen to NPR, and talk! Sounds like you have a fairly good social life.
read, listen to NPR, and talk! That sounds somewhat like me. I find the talk part fairly easy. Newspaper and current magazine articles are another common denominator.
Outside of the forums, I don't run into many people (read, NPR) like that IRL. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places.
All of that rambling is to say I wonder how much "couple socializing" really goes on in the world outside of TV and movies. Good point. Maybe not much in some circles, especially couples without school aged kids.
Is BB close to anyone? Does she have a close girlfriend? BB is closest to her pets. As far as gfs? Two but only visits them a couple times a year and maybe 4 to 6 call a year.
They can talk medical problems as long as it does not contain emotional stuff. As far as interest, I would say light topics. I know one gf can get into some personal issues and be comfortable.
my parents. They were so picky about people that they had no friends Some similarities here Lil. I try to be selective and have my list. some things matter and some things don't.
If you put as much energy into pleasing yourself and following your own interests as you do into attempting to please BB, I wonder what your life would be like? The ultra selfish part tells me to take a 30 day trip. The very compassionate, CYA tells me to go slow try this and that. Something in between tells me to do at least one or two new things a week till "I" find somethings "I" like, and give BB the courtesy/physical presence, to explore this church thing.
I can see where calling the church was a way to cut through all of the "I wonder" speculation. Well Lil, the "I wonder" thing was getting to the point of being frozen in inaction and I know some of the things I was curious about wouldn't cost me anything. So why was I frozen? <a question for myself>
Take the car lot where 3 salesmen came over to me. I saw it was ridiculous for three people to talk to me at the same time. I was trying to think of a way to get my point across but chose to partially ignore them. I did ask, about their last sales meeting and said I worked for a car dealer for 10 years and was aware of some of the "ridiculous training" sessions I saw small parts of. It was my best way to say to them their company policy was nuts but I understood what they were required to do to get a paycheck.
It's the old how to be polite vs the you know what is going on is pure crap. The old assumption I had was they were going to be reasonable and so was I.
The 3 salesmen tactics didn't last long but left a bad taste in my gut. What I could do now is go back and ignore everyone past just saying Hi and no thanks. Most/some of this applies to R's.
We went to the 5PM service on Sat. 340 people. 3 electric guitars, 1 drummer, 5 back-up/harmony singers, one soloist? It was different, like a Christian Rock band for most of the service. BB wants to go back for a few more tries. <just information>
