Re Lil Aw, c'mon, Lou, I only slugged you with a big ol' feather pillow... HARD, but only a feather pillow. I can take anything you can dish out and Just as long as you think it is the truth.
I see where you were doing what I asked. At first I thought you were PO'd for having to say something over and over again.
My post about not being able to please some people was more of an example and not another complaint. It was also a way to say somethings don't work when tried 5 times but they do once certain things are gotten past.
You just got finished telling Martelo that you wanted to know if your fly was down. That goes for anyone.
In the case I made, it was intended to say we can take the truth if put in a caring way so he would open up faster.
Do you have to go to church with her? No, I don't. I was looking for something "WE" could do together. The dog walking flopped. I thought this activity might be something she would stick to, but who knows.
My original post about church things was to agree with Martelo and Paul, trying to please someone can be a difficult job, so quitting is OK. It was like the singing pig line. No progress can be made so don't get bent out of shape trying. You just wind up with two unhappy campers.
If she says she wants to start going to church, why is that YOUR signal to call and find out about groups and plan on going to a couple of groups yourself. Because she and other family members will talk and talk about what they think might be going on. I only called after it has been talked about, "I wonder" for the last month.
I looked the church up on the inter-net and saw a schedule with nondescript words and was curious myself what activities went with the descriptions.
I am somewhat like BB in a way. Sometimes frozen in inaction mode. That has been one of my personal goals to break the stagnant inertia in some areas of my life.
I am interested in having a different car for example. I see something on the lot. Do I stop, get 1,2, or 3 salesmen coming toward me. Is the transmission a 5 speed? Most care are automatic so not likely a 5 speed so I keep on going.
Back to the church, I heard several good things they have done in the community so I called for me and BB.
Can't she just go by herself? Sure. I wish she would.
If you do something alone and she "acts" insecure, let her act that way. TOPS, an investment club, and a few misc alone activities are new with in the last couple of months. Yes she acts insecure sometimes. I am handling her insecurities better in that I don't react as much as I used to.
Maybe I just had to get to the point of not caring so much if we have a good R or not.
Why to you need to rescue her? Is the experience actually causing her any harm? It (new church thing)is not about me rescuing her. It is more about me thinking, "I wonder how long this will last. If I coast and drag my feet will BB be enthused about the church or will it be like before, once I buy in to the group and feel like I am a part of a couples group, will BB bail and then I will be a married but single person in a couples-group environment.
I can be part of a couples friendly group but this time I am approaching it as a married-single person. I have not tried this method before.
You're setting yourself up. Am I if I go expecting to be a single spouse?
I predict that in a few weeks you'll be posting You are right Lil, especially if I say I really like 3 or 4 other couples and the activities.
So now I have to stop going to the group because she wants to quit going to that church." For starters, I am not depending on couples type of interactions as much as I did in the past. I am not going to debate or say what I like/dislike about church doctrine. I am going to meet individuals and see what happens.
Just as long as you think it is the truth.
