Uppercase characters are capital

Re: Blackfoot I apologize for not capitalizing your name last time.
"B"lackfoot, the capitalization post was not about "MY" name, it was about "YOUR" name.

I started out thinking, I can't/won't write anyone's name in lower case letters. I just thought maybe <asking a question type> that with all of the alpha traits that you talk about on the SSM forum, was there something to you using a lower case letter to start your name?

On my part, I quit school in the 10th. grade, later took at-home correspondence courses, passed the state G.E.D. with flying colors Then taught myself auto mechanics from books and some hands-on experience.

I worked as an auto mechanic turning my nose up some at many of the grammar rules, miss spelled enough words, and hated to write anything. Then I had my back problems and had to make many changes.

I went to college and was forced to write. I immersed myself in the studies and wrote many more papers than I could have ever imagined. I started to improve my spelling and writing skills using writing style books, dictionaries, and grammar usage books. Later in college, I bought a computer and some grammar software. I even surprised myself at what I could do if I practiced it enough.

Some of my writing and grammar problems came from moving so many times. I counted 28 school moves which didn't help. Then in (1988) I am in college and earning a 3.82/4.0 GPA. I see some of my stuff/attitudes and feelings about writing was compulsive in some ways. After all I was there to learn

The lack of a capital letter in your name is part of the changes "I" made in my life and in part, wondering, does blackfoot have some reason for not starting his screen name with capital letter or is it a non issue?

My other main point was to encourage you to totally own your screen name and make the best of it as you can. I don't want to have to salute you or say Mr. Blackfoot, but thought enough of you to suggest the change.

As far as "lou" or "Lou", is not much of an issue to me but "I/me" do like to do things according to publicly accepted standards.

I wont cap my name, I don't respect myself enough in this place. Funny that you noticed that.
Not respecting yourself enough when others do?????

I am not going to force you to do anything. Just suggesting you give yourself an up-grade.

That might sound strange from a guy that won't fly first class because he doesn't see the value of more creature comforts first class has to offer.

I remember when the trip took 5 days and to do it in a day seems wonderful enough. Just one reason coach is good enough.

Transparency:
You replied to JamesJohn that BB see right thru you though. If she sees thru it, then its not really a 180 is it?
I know I have the problem of other people seeing through me. It was one reason I left the job working in the delinquent-boy's group home. Most of the residents and many of the employees were manipulators at one time or were currently.

The most effective people there, could act and not give off many clues. They acted the same no matter if they were happy with someone or about to stab them in the back by filing a written grievance that might get a resident kicked out of the program or another employee fired.

Back to BB:
I look for ways to work things out with maximum benefits and yes minimum resources and minimum conflict. I dislike waist and excessive frills. Most of my life has been associated with the most bang for the buck, rather than lets see how fast we can make this puppy go and cost is not much of a concern.

I guess that transfers into R's in that I am willing to state my opinions and ask for what I want but not willing to lose the R over some points where I think it should be easy to come to an agreement.

I am seeing, that mind set (not willing to lose the R) is not working and am making more progress with the attitude what we disagree on and all of the other things we disagree on is not worth the conflicts we have.

It was not until I was OK with "what happens, happens," was I able to say what was on my mind and what ever BB felt was something she was going to have to work out herself. I had to admit, I can fix or improve so many things but maybe all I can do is make our R just so, so.

A step towards BB would be --to use the example of the steaks, saying 'Yeah those steaks were cheap and tough. It may have been what they could afford though. Tell you what, lets go to the grocery store and get some tender juicy melt in your mouth Angus steaks.
But what if they were not tough? Sure, don't discredit her feelings, it doesn't work.

In this case, my opinion is BB has her mind made up she didn't like the guy that bought them, didn't like where the guy bought them, and doesn't agree with how the guy spends his money among other things.

The steaks all looked alike and were vacuum wrapped. It could be hers was tough. No one else said theirs was tough and some people had two.

I did offer to stop on the way home to buy an Angus burger with fried onions, but BB said that would be over eating.

I could have said, I'm sorry you got a tough one and yes the guy's spending habits are strange and yes store X or QVC does have better meat, or just said we will have our own in a couple of days.

BB, from what I read, Mr MoJo, Mrs. HD, other particular/picky people is an issue for me. Sometime the temp is over 80, some times it is under 40, sometimes the bread is white, sometimes it is whole wheat. Make due will' ya. Life is not perfect.


Being more open:
I had enough of the distancing in the R so decided to make more small talk and spend more time with BB.

I had been sitting with her a little longer for the past couple of days as I have gotten caught up on my outside yard work. She has been deferring to me more and making fewer rivalry type remarks.

I rubbed her feet and back some till I figured I had enough but BB asked for more. I asked if she was looking for free-bees or was she willing to recriprocate with some affection / attention with me. She didn't say yes but did say she wanted more of the back rubs so I continued until she started to do her little "momma loves you" with the dogs again. I slowed down waited for BB to be done with her dog interactions.

<I give attention to BB, she gives attention to the dogs and some how I am supposed to get what I want from the dogs. <buzz, does not compute, wrong answer, you are out of the game> That is the problem for me.>

BB came up with some ideas as to how she thought "I" felt or thought that were wrong. It involved a subject where tactile feel could be used. I took her hand and placed it on mine and asked her in a challenging way to tell me what my hand and fingers were feeling, since she knew some things better than I did.

This time I stuck to what I was feeling, describing actual sensations, what those sensations made me think of, what I was concerned about if certain things happened or didn't happen, and what I wanted to do and have her accept. I also said I hoped she felt she could be as open as I was, as trusting as I was, felt as safe as I did. I said she can feel what she wants to but be honest and don't hide behind some made up image or barrier and work with what is.

Well, as Hairdog would post, "You lucky dog" That is all of the details I want post about last night.

Today, well what happens happens. If BB wants to believe I do or don't feel a certain way and she knows better than I do, she can stay or leave or believe what she wants to.

I feel I am in a better spot and more in control of my life and more in control of the R as I think it should be.

Lou