She doesn't complain about my being a peasant, she complains about my being a coward. While I have some admiration for the alpha males of the world, I do not take after them, I steer clear of them and I do not wnat my son to become one of them. It is important for males to be confident, but at the same time, they need to think rather than react.
Hold on a minute! What does being alpha male have to do with reacting before you think? Confidence is important, yes. Being alpha male is critical. Reacting before you think is not a requirement, in fact the opposite is true in order to be alpha male. Calm assertiveness (in the words of Cesar Milan). Does that sound like reacting before you think?
I am really struck by your wife’s comment that you are a coward. I don’t know how she evaluates cowardice, but her perception says something, as does your statement that you don’t want your son to be alpha. What is this all about?
It sounds to me like she is saying she is attracted to confident, alpha men. There are many ways for you to portray this without crossing over into physical aggression. Japanese men do it all the time. They’re a lot of bluff. It may be important to not show an aversion being alpha in front of your wife. Where does your timidity toward aggression come from? Could this be a FOO issue for you to work through?
