Quote: Back to the unpleasable thought. BB wants to start attending church again. I asked her what was wrong with the last 3 "we" went to and the last 6 I attended. BB had her list and the main item was "the people were not friendly." I suggested she had as much or more to play in the unfriendly part as the church members did.
Lou, the appropriate response to her comment was, "Oh." Possibly augmented by: "That's a good idea."
SO FREAKIN' WHAT if she's been to fifty thousand other churches and didn't like them. So what if she was unfriendly? sowhatsowhatsowhat.... why do you keep trying to remind her of her inconsistencies, faults, failings, lack, etc. How is that good for either of you? It doesn't change her. It just makes you look like a nitpicker. Why do you keep trying to show how wrong she is? Who cares? Who cares if she goes to church or not? You don't have to go. Stop being her policeman. Not only because it doesn't work, but because it doesn't look good on YOU.
And do you see the irony in this comment of yours
Quote: My point is some people want the other people in the R to do most of the work, and by gosh, you better do it their way.
YOU are wanting her to do the church thing YOUR way.
Some congregations ARE friendlier than others, and personally I've attended too many religious institutions to count! YOUR Identity System demands that she do church your way... or that she find some consistent way of doing it. She doesn't have to. And your Identity System can just stop bothering about it. It doesn't matter.
You're making yourself nuts, Lou. You're too good a man and too young to go crazy!
